How do you cook??

I was told other day that what I cook is shite.  Actually My H told me that, sitting in his car the other morning lol..  He is still breathing, for now.  Let me just type I am not a meat eater but do  cook it      for him and my kids.  I cook on average 5 nights a week.  Two nights beef mince, two nights chicken/turkey & one night fish.  Sometimes pizza, homemade from base to topping.  I usually cook basic stuff with basic veg.  O except I’ve been told I dont cook boiled potatoe’s This seems to be a problem.  This tho is the class bit.  I was told today that he would have lunch because he was hungry.  I replied with better buy bread.  I dont eat it.  My kids only get wholemeal rolls so if he wanted a sandwich, bread would be required.  My gob is still open from the "I would rather buy one that make one".. Like just because there was nothing to put on a sandwich??  I never eat lunch so it never bothers me, Nicky has a wholemeal roll, quite happily or a ton of fruit.
So reality check.  I do not fry any food.  According to Rick Steins programme the scots deep fry everything, including pizza.  Wrong.  I will not stand, peel and mash 4kg of anything for 8 out of 9 people not to eat them, not gonna happen.  I will not buy anything that neither me or my children dont/wont eat, again, it just aint gonna happen.  goodness, I sometimes forget, when your married manners go out the window.  Maybe I should be making a bit more noise instead of seething quietly?? This man wonders why he never has sex??
Tonight they are having Turkey escalopes, in homemade breadcrumbs.  Kids are getting them in finger shapes.  He’s getting them chucked on a plate.  Yes, the Aunt Bessie’s are coming out the freezer as is the vegtables & yes veg will be undercooked because I like it that way & no that does not give you the trots, thats the shit you eat otside that does that.  Hmmm there seems to be a divide thats getting wider in my world??  Ah well.  its takes a man to piss me off.  Funny tho how he eats twice as much as anyone else.  If its so shite perhaps he really should think of trading me in for a more inferior model, wish he would.
On a me note.  Still no shopping.  I did go to our Stations of the cross & mass this morning.  There was a moment when I was kneeling down & all I felt was total peace.  I felt a smile come to my face, I have no idea why.  Just in that moment, none of this life shit mattered.  God had my full attention for a change which was wonderful.
Its rainging
Light powered by 60w of bulb

Its called”Just Forget””

Just Forget


Just forget his name

Just forget his face

Just forget his kiss

Just forget the warm embrace

Just forget the love you once thought true

Just remember now hes got someone new

Just forget that once he cared

Just forget the love you shared

Just forget the times you spent together

Just remember he chose gone forever

Just forget how close you 2 once were

He has a new someone with him to share

Just forget the dreams he made come true

Just remember now hes got someone new

Just forget the things you planned to do

Just remember it was him who found someone new

Just forget the times you cried for him

Just remember hes got a whatshername

Things can never be the same

Best thing to do

Just forget you ever new his name.



If after all is said, done, written you still remember whatshisname, ears open.  He just didn’t realise your potential.  Maybe you didn’t realise but you can take a lifetime to find it all.  Whats he got??  Carpet slippers, rocking chair.  I know what I would pick..

Ok so,

it rains

 candy rots your teeth

dreams can keep you awake at night

Light is bright

I use lightbulbs


She said what? About who? Shameful celebrity quotes on Search Star!

live simply

When I read a funny email this morning I thought, it dfoesnt get much better than this.  In amonst the crap was a silly email that reminded me, life needn’t be hard.  Life is as easy or as tough as we make it.  There are times when its easier, the first love hit thingy.  Times when its harder, when someone precious dies but through it; it should be simply simple lol..
Through this lent I have had a tough/easy time.  There have been days when I thought fk it just shop.  There has been days when I thought, its easier.  Whatever.  I feel its just a reflection of my life.  Shopping was pathetically a gap filler.  O yes, I do appreciate that.  Have I substituted it with anything better -nope.  Stop I have though.  I have always known why I shopped, just stopping has been weird experience.  On talking to my mum last night I realised we can all get bogged down with whats expected of us.  Im expected to shop.  THats just what Jacqui does.  When I stopped even taxi drivers had there gobs open, such was the buzz everyone obviously seen from me.
I dont quite know what I expected to achieve this lent.  More money, yeh sure but thats not important to me.  More time, yeh but not into that extra time shit.  Just gives more time for the house shit I so dont buy into.  Im not quite sure why I have lost my pc enthusiasm.  I have read countless books online so its not like all I ever did was shop, that bit is strange.  Next year I am going to give up shopping once more and the pc or rather the internet, see how that pans out.  Im struggling enough this lent without thinking about next lol..
Scotland has sunshine today so I am going to make the most of it.  Get the washing machine on, washing out & do that chain smoke in my garden.
Enjoy your day
Light brightly glowing

the dash counts

Okay so what dash counts??  The most important of dashes.  Everyone will have seen a headstone??  The name, hopefully 2 years?  What is the dash inbetween for.  That little dash is the sum of a whole lifetime.  Im totally struck by how totally crap that is.  If it was me, I would haunt everyone who ever looked at my headstone with a shrug of weird name and jump up & down.  Seriously.  When we die we’re reduced to a fkn dash.  Those of us who have kept a record of our lives, yeh people can read it.  They will never get the essence of who we were, not in the reality of our heads, will they.  It just strikes me as being a tad sad thats all.
Life is funny right now.  No shopping has led to boredom.  I have started reading books, bored as I am.  My teenager has taken over my pc and I can’t say I’m bothered by it.  The pc just doesnt have the same attraction without the shopping part lol..
The reflection is going very well.  My realisations are still appearing.  I dont have any right to give my views on how others conduct there lives.  Dashes we all own.  I am taking care of mine. Pretty much in silence since no one really gets what I’m about.  Thats not to say I dont care it just comes down to one of my own sayings "Go yur ain road".  Im still going to be thinking "yur so fuckin it up" but thats a private thought I dont need to share because I do share that thought way to much and I have no right to do so. 
If everyone shared there truth.  If everyone accepted who they are this would be a better world.  Fumbling about in pretend seems  to be what this world is about now.  We just need to remember the example of Tony Blair who became a Catholic when he was no longer the PM.  Was that because he couldnt have conducted himself correctly according to our teachings and been Pm or was it simply that he was waiting.  Very few people share there true thoughts, this world is so fkn politically correct we’re scared to open our mouths.  If our kids are bullied we have to go through official channels, what happeed to parents communicating?  if we’re bumped 50p in a shop, we have to almost apologise for pointing it out.  If someone doesnt hold a door for us how many would actually say heh, excuse me rude person??  Ok, I do, I hate rude.  Realisation for today I hate illusion and dishonesty even more.  I read a good book yesterday about the dash our lives are reduced to.  I just figure its not enough to leave kids behind.  I like to think at least a small tiny bit of my essence could remain.
With that I have some tao philosophy to troll through.  I will find the answer to the question, just wish I could rememeber what the hell the question was????
living in happy rain
light bright

Im easy pleased

I’ve been totally distracted by the teenage Bebo.  I did use it a couple of years ago but gave up lol..
My own son has blocked me so cant even access him.  How long do you think it’ll take him to realise his autie can get too him haha.  Its a bit like how life should be.  If there’s bits you dont like you can go back & change it.  How totally cool would that be haha.  Anyway, I have no intention of using it.  Someone old me someone else had a bebo page and thats how I’m back on, it wont last for long.  Im only looking to sting once and dump.
Kids all fine, all except Nicky who once more is off nursery.  I got the 2am wake up of My head hurts before he barfed, lovely child.  I got a slight delicate problem myself.  Rolled over last night in bed and was woken with the familiar pain I get from a breast abscess, goodness it hurts.  Deep rooted little blitter better just trot off.  Though dont think that likely but heh, I can live in hope.  So today I feel like barfing but wont.  How much you want to bet by Monday I will need a dr and will need to go to a male one.  I know I’ve flashed at so many I shouldn’t bother but it really bugs me.  I shouldnt moan, its been over a year since I had a major one like this but can some other female not take a turn lol..
Light on somewhere

Go look me up[!

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Happy music

Dont know whether it was the clubcards points I got this morning amounting to £17.50 or my music but I am in happy insanity mode.  £17.50 that I cant spend can I??  Nope, who the fkn hell thought it was a good idea to give up shopping for fkn lent.  Ah well, my parish will have a lot more than the £50 it got for last year so faith wins I guess.
Music – wow!!! This morning wakened up with Earth, wind & fire in my head, Septmember.  Its the end song in the ridiculous but fab film Mummy thingy, aah the name will come to me.  Best bit of that film, the credits.  A bit like all the spiderman films.  Whilst my Nicky adores all 3 I only rate the first one.  Spidermen films, have great soundtracks, fab music.  Music is such a mood lifter.  If its wicked it can stay the day away.  I plugged my surround speakers into my pc this morning.  My walls were thumping out Septemeber.  I went & had a shower, came down stairs in my normal T & shorts only to find the flat across from me where getting there windows changed hahaha.  One of the cheeky gits waved at me.  Ah well, I look good wet or dry – prune like but a damn fine prune.
Happy happy
light somewhere