After going to my GP yesterday I came home with a beta-blocker than works on all sorts of crazy things. The annoying tremors, ticks, shakes, jerks and amazingly migraines. My big sis has been on them for over 20yrs at a high dose so I wasnt convinced they would work. O apart fom slowing my heart rate down lol..
I took my 1 pill of 40mg at 8am thinking it wouldnt work. My 9am I’m standing outside Argos and fk me but I am standing – still!!! There was no movement, nothing. I actually just stood in the middle of the walkway, I must have looked strange, not as strange as usual but strange. I walked into the shop. My right leg does a quiver thing as I lift it usually but nope, it was gone. This was becoming a personally awesome day. I do still have a crazy lift to my ankle. Caused when I was a teenager I broke awkwardly & it still has a strabnge thing but its more controlled. I hated the idea of taking any drug to mask my tremor. Its not that I’m proud of my dystonic movement but it is just the only sign that I have had 2 major strokes and survived and I’m proud of that. I re-learned the basic stuff and my usual attitude would be that I just didnt get the walk thing back, big deal. Except, judging by my reaction it must be deep down. Thats a surprise. It started as something for other people and really, its about me.
Today though for the first time in over 20yrs I stood talking to people without the need to feel embarassed. I dint think about it much. I usually think constantly about it. God that was so amazing. For someone who has spent those years saying it didnt bother me, bugger me but what a feeling when it was gone. The effects of it lasted until nearly 5pm. I’m slightly miffed that it wears of but I cant wait for tomorrow & no I wont be taking one when I am at home. I have a dystonic twitch and I wont ever forget or pretend otherwise (just mask it when required) lol..
I still havent moved the entries I intend to move but I’m doing it because someone is snooping and I dont know who. Any reference I have made of a suspicious nature are being put in a private blog, out of harms way lol..
Finally, Eileen if you get around to reading my prayers are still with you, your boys and your friend Marc. I’m sure God is beside you, listening. I dont know what will happen but I hope it turns out ok.
Im off to do something boring but I’m off to my best mates tomorrow night for a blether, cant wait. I may even partake of a sip of shandy lol..
ligt on for all