Under pressure

it would appear my youngest doesnt perform well under pressure.  On the first day back at school he failed to recognise the "qu" sound and only scored 6 out of twenty when it came to recognising his common words.  Typically when I got out the flashcards he got them all right.  Anyway the revision homework will last a fortnight and the extra support from the teacher that the other call the dafty’s support will continue.  i have started to bribe the kids with haribo sweets if they do extra homework.  they have all reacted very enthusiastically, except youngest.  on the positive my 10yr old has seen a big improvement in his work & even his teachers impressed.
Some of the kids have a cold.  It was only a matter of time before I got it and I have.  Im a bit of a man when ill.  I want to lie down, have everyone feel sorry for me and not have to deal with anything or anyone.  nice idea but there is an obvious flaw, I’m a woman and have to keep going, regardless.  Work is being difficult.  arrogant men are competing for the top slot and whilst I find it amusing I do have to remind them that position just doesnt exist.  Im half hoping our appraiser actually walks and we can replace him with someone a little less ego driven.
My nieghbourhood is quiet.  partly because the kids are back at school and partly because our weather is crap.  sunshine and showers all week but it keeps us guessing.  its actually turned so cold that i’ve had to put my heating on.  might just be me though.  i have a banging headache a nose that rudolf would be proud of and a rasping cough that hurts like hell.
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Ears meeting steam

kids came home yesterday with homework.  I like homework.  I  like sitting at the table and watching them.  Anyway youngest who is in Primary 2 gets his book out.  We have normally 3 words which have to be copied 3 times and a sentence from one of the words.  his words yesterday were "a", "at" and "the".  Hmm, problem me thinks.  These are very basic, covered in Primary 1 and I see no benefit on going over them again.  He insists on doing his homework but the more I thought about it the angrier I got,.  It turns out that he also gets additional help during class time from a support teacher.  he does have a problem articulating certain sounds.  All of my sons have had the same problem until they reach 7 and whilst it sounds like a problem they have fully grasped the idea of comprehension, they’re just not very good at expressing it.  I’m totally frustrated & actually I’m more than a little annoyed.  Just because a child cannot pronounce a word correctly does not mean they dont understand the bloody word. 
I did phone school this morning.  Parents are not encouraged to speak to the teachers but I make do with the headmistress.  I explain my displeasure & am assured she will call me back.  She did, except I was at work and H doesnt get invloved (yeh, theres a shocker).  She did say perhaps the teacher was just going over the stuff & would check what kind of homework the straight P2 class had received??  I had already spoken to another child’s parent who was in my sons group last year who was moved to the other class and he has had primary 2 homework so perhaps the children in the composit class are just not capable of doing primary 2 work.  That would be fine, if we were informed.  I dont like the idea of any of my children falling behind or needing support.  If however Im not kept in he loop, what am I supposed to do??
The Scottish Educational system is shit.  We have done away with national testing.  Instead we have opted into the certificate of excellence bullshit which means if any child is falling below a certain standard thats ok.  They spout the words working to the best of there ability.  I always thought they were talking about the children but actually I think they’re talking about the teachers.  It may seem petty but to me education is vital.  without our children getting a basic grasp of the basic stuff, they’re screwed before they begin..
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Isnt it the way of it.  I was in work until 1pm.  Quickly stopped off to pick something up from my parents and onto a shop to try and find a new bed for son 2 who has wrecked his bed jumping on his new one.  Couldnt find one so home just in time for Asda to deliver my shopping.  Tried to phone a goverment agency and after 29mins school kids arrive home.  Having eldest home isnt ideal.  He winds youngest up who goes into a swearing fit.  He comes upstairs when I ask him politely through gritted teeth to be quiet he starts shouting and swearing at me.  Phone is thrown at him and all that waiting for nothing.  GGrr, pisses me off.  I did magage to hit his knee.  Not my intention but it happens.  I hate children with attitude.  I want to run and hide.  Im currently reading a book by H. Rudolph Schaffer about the psychological effects making decisions regarding children has on them.  Im currently screaming its the parents who are in psychological danger not the bloody children (actually that should just be this mother).
I hope this is a passing phase and school home time will become easier to deal with.  I feel the stress building the minute my little darling open the front door.  With a sinking feeling I know if one kicks off then chances are the rest will follow.  Its never easy.
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knickers anyone??

Ah you do all the prep work you can.  The boys are sorted.  One daughter is in a p-addy about knickers, no joke.  do I wear a size 12?  Sadly no.  Not that I would share but where the hell have they went.  My daughters keep there laundry till they need a load done.  This included the only 5 pairs of school knickers my 11yr old wears.  Normally she wears guys boxers so at the weekend I do remember washing them.  I assume someone has moved them since they’re not where they should be,.
I have been up since 5am so if I had been warned I would have found them.  As it is I now have more than one child to get washed and ready so its not happening.  Mr Bean has looked.  I must take him around and tell him exactly what goes in what set of drawers.  Im not sure looking in the small boys underwear drawers is going to help?   i so need sopme patience this morning.  Im half blaming myself.  Of course they were on a kitchen chair, easy or hard.
We have rain again so whilst the days washing has been done it cant go anywhere.  typical of my mother to give an instruction of a wash a day.  didnt think of telling what the hell to do with it if its raining did she?  tumble drier isnt working properly so Im not using that,.
Anyway, better move and start shouting..
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Another day won

I managed to do all of the school ironing.  I always feel a huge sense of pride when I see all of my crisp white shirts all neatly ironed and folded.  Goodness there’s a lot.  Anyway all done.  I managed to fill my washing machine a couple of times.  I didnt mind hearing my mothers voice in my head with her a wash a day keeps Mr Chaos away, funny, silly but very true.  I’m quite sure she’s still the same.  do washing whether you have it or not lol..  Washing done and up to date.  School ironing done.  I even managed to cook a sausage casserole for dinner that only 4 ate but heh, I tried.  Managed to get all kids into the bath and my day is almost over.
I cant type that it was a bump free day.  My telephone keeps ringing & without giving details because its not really anything to do with me I answer the phone.  I got into the habit of saying H wasnt here, even if he was.  Hassle because of over due payments is not my thing.  I can’t and wont get involved but when he answered the phone and said he wasnt here I went a bit, hhmm, annoyed.  I was gob-smacked.   i dont believe in running away or hiding till you think its safe to come out.  Actually for me, financial irresponsibility is only a breathe behind infedelity.  That would never be tolerated.  Actually, sometimes I wish for that just for the get out of jail card.  Faithful type my H.  Would never occur to him bless.  Im not sure why the thought of an affair has popped into my head.  Perhaps my reading matter which says only the first time you cheat does your conscience get pricked.  After the first time, its easy.  Nah wouldnt work for me.  Once a cheater always a cheater.   No justification would be required.  Im very tolerant but thats way below my standards.  What do I know.
Im going off at a tangent.  I am yet again going off on one about his financial stupidity.  I actualy laughed today when I realised I must sound like a rather tired man scolding his wayword cash spending wife.  I just hope he listens because sooner or later I will require my patience back.  Typical example is he was short £30 last wk.  I said that was cool so long as he gave me it back by Tuesday.  My fault, I didnt say what Tuesday did I?  o silly me.   I did firmly remind him today, pointing out that actually, I did mean last Tuesday but since I hadn’t been clear this week will do.  I just hope he realises I’m serious..   I think the word Fanny must reappear on my head when hes around.  I honestly dont know where my balls are cos this is so unlike me with all except him.  Issues me thinks.  Ah well, time for bed.
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another week

i have just done my asda online shop for the week.  No doubt out of the £124.93 I will have forgotten something thats vital but I do try and cover most of this families requirements.  Soap powder springs to mind and oops its not on my list.
Meals for this week:
Cottage pie & seasonal veg from the freezer
Chicken curry with rice/naan bread
Beef casserole with crusty bread, bought not baked
Homemade burgers and salad (salad pre-bought)
Mix-up night which involves creating fish fingers, making popcorn chicken balls, pizza fingers, corned beef fritters (i do cheat and buy onion rings).  I only shop for 5 days.  Im not home on a Saturday so its always a pasta dish and Sunday is bought on the day.  I usually just look in the freezer but next week is sorted, at least in my head.  I have bought a couple of jars of macoroni just in case we have dummies being thrown and baking potatoes, think I’m covered.
sunday means its bath day for the lot of them.  I hate how the week has an odd number so when we hit a Sunday they all have to be bathed.  Our weather has turned crap which means no washing can go out.  Tumble drier means a whizzing electricity meter.   just have the school ironing to don though and I’m ready for the school week at least.  enjoy your week.

Never surprised

I wont mention eldest birthday other than to say its over.  I shouldnt be surprised when I go downstairs and find we’ve ran out of milk and yet I always am.  I blame my other half and maybe I shouldn’t.  Maybe its just another responsibility that he’s not up to and I should take control of the day to day essential buying.  I always think when we run out of essential stuff that he lets it happen because of some monetary issue.  Im not sure thats the case.  I think if hes not here he doesnt care.  I for once am doing the silence.  I’m not looking in his direction much less talking to him.  Its not something I planned I just felt if I spoke to him yesterday I would have exploded and that wasn’t fair to the birhday boy so I just didnt and I can see the attraction in silence.  Its a no strain low maintenance way to lala through life. 
i’m going to the safety net of self and getting ready to busy my mind.  I always find if I busy my mind with a self thought I can blank out the other stuff thats simmering.  In doing that I never explode and I make it through until the next crisis.
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