Voice Ive come to hate..

Is that of my GP.  Actually hes not mine, just the first 1 I spoke to a month ago when my gallbladder went to hyper mode. He phoned again and my liver function is giving him concern.  Long story short my op is scheduled for next week.  Im holding off going to hosp until I really need to.  Tiredness has kicked in and my skin has a yellow tone I’m trying hard not to notice.
 
Its hogmany today.  The lets get pissed night of the year and I cant drink, not that I want to.
 
A new year, full of potential and blah, blah.  All I need to do is stay alive to enjoy it.  Hate op’s but hate pain more..
 
Happy New Year
jacqui
 
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Hacked and blocked

I was away for a few days.  Gallbladder sent me to jaundice and my Gp felt I needed to be in hosp.  I felt fine I just had a yellow glow and a body that refused to stay awake.  A visit to speak to a surgeon became a 6day stay.  It should have been shorter but the only surgeon who performs gallbladder removal in this particular hosp was stuck in Egypt and I left hosp on Wed morning with a liver that is now stable and to be honest Im just hoping it stays that way at least until after christmas.  O how I wish I had private health insurance.  Alas, I dont.  So I’m at the mercy of the NHS so will have to wait until I get a slot for surgery.  O the big positive is since this flair up I’ve lost well over a stone in weight, I cant really eat and I do look better even if I dont feel it.  Another stone and my BMI has returned to within the "normal" range.  I have turkey, beed and gammon to cook tomorrow and me, I’ll be having goodness knows what.
 
Well presents to wrap.  If anyone is still reading spaces have a lovely christmas.  I hope Santa brings you all you could wish for..
 
Happy Christmas
jacqui
x

forgot something haven’t I??

Yup.  Ive forgotten something rather important.  Wrapping, I havent wrapped a bloody christmas present.  Ive been so pre-occupied with trying to play catch up with my buying I didnt even give wrapping a thought.  I hate leaving things till the last moment and here I am again.  I have mountains of stuff stashed under my stairs, ok no idea what just all "stuff" to me but its all there.  Maybe I’ll start tomorrow…
 
light on
jacqui

Kinda lost the bug

for writing.  I just dont have the time or the energy.  Anyway havent been very well for a couple of weeks.  Gall stones.  The dreaded pain of them hit 11 days ago.  After no dinner made the mistake of having chicken pakora at 10pm and by midnight I thought death was approaching thru my chest.  By 2.30am I had wakened 1 of my daughters who sat with me until 4.30am.  Fk I hate intense pain.  I would have phoned a blooming ambulance but we were snowed in and nothing could get up our road so sat holding on until I remembered we had painkillers.  2 co-codamol later and Im getting drowsy and finally fell asleep at 6am.  Frightening for me and daughter but she took it in her stride, didnt freak and just stayed calm.  The rest of my house slept peacefully unaware except 6yr old who had been awake waiting for me to go back to bed lol.,.
 
Anyway 2days later I finally phone my GP who leaves a script for Buscopan & painkillers.  Bloody fab drug Buscopan, except stopping it is a nightmare but any drug ending in pan has a sedative effect and they always make me feel weird.  Anyway, cant really eat.   Have stopped drinking all coffee (yep, really).   So Im now drinking tea, hate it but dont need a lot of milk so its working.  I have drank an entire box of raspberry t and could drink another bagso normal t was my prefered option.  The positive is I got to see my Gp on Monday.  I am now waiting to c a surgeon & the gallbladder I have kept, stones and all since my last pregnancy has to be removed and after my last pain episode I think its the right thing to do.
 
I’m not the best of eaters.  I dont do meals for myself.  I cook them but dont eat them and Ive realised that my diet is totally wacko.  I am now eating but nothing like the volume I should.  Ive lost 11lbs in 11 days but I can afford to lose it.  Im terrified to eat anything in case the pain returns.  I did tell my Gp who said I’ll eat when Im hungry but I dont feel hungry.  I always thought coffee stopped huger but actually, I dont feel it & apart from toast and chicken or haddock I’m too scared to try anything.  Early days but I need to get over it.
 
Due to our weather I’m way behind with the big man shopping for the kids.  The demands are still coming and whilst I’m trying to get all thats been asked for I’m really not up to shopping on mass and I’m sure I will forget some things but all I can do is all I can do.   Thats all Im gonna type about it lol.  I have bought my turkey.  Its smaller than normal at 7kg but I’m also doing beef & gammon so fingers crossed it’ll be ok.  At least for the last few yrs I’ve been up all xmas eve so should get the prep work done thru the night before the kids get up.  I just hope by the time christmas eve rolls round I’ll have some energy.  I feel like Im 105yrs right now.
 
Work had to manage without me for a fortnight.  It wasnt like I planned to be ill during the big freeze but every morning I was texted and sending texts after deciding whether work should open or not.  That in itself was tiring when pain hits at night and can last for hrs.  Anyway, Im now back at work and apart from being closed 3 days managed to stay open.  I did go back yesterday and was so excited to be back  I hugged most of them   Our weather was dire.  Snow blizzards and kids kept checking how high our snow was getting.  By the time it reached 25cm I told them to quit it.  Its Scotland and we shouldnt expect anything better.
 
Okay, thats me.  Ive typed it and Im off..
 
light on
jacqui