The week that was got off to a very rocky start. A friend who over drinks came into work complaining about the amount of weight shes put on. I said stop drinking vodka, that should help. Big sis is sitting there and piped up O dont listen to her, shes a lush and can drink like the best of them? Excuse me?? Ok, friend on seeing my face makes a swift exist. I tell sis not to be so bloody rude and actually, dont you dare speak in front of anyone like that. She was taken aback, stumbled over I was joking except she had done the same thing before so knew it annoyed me and rolled out,. That was the last I’ve seen or spoken to her and that was Monday. I actually feel an almighty sense of relief . I didnt have to phone to check she was ok which normally sends me into a panic. Despite having a phone code so that she knows its me shes not the best at picking up her phone. i dont get people who can sit beside a ringing phone. I had a saturday at home which was great. I didnt need to get dressed.
Easter weekend and apart from the family I live with I havent heard from either my parents who live 10mins away by taxi or sis who is slightly further, 15mins. No phone calls, nothing. I did say to the kids that whilst I’m sure they’ll have bought them easter eggs there is no delivery service available so sadly, no eggs.
My family just dont play a part in my kids lives. It bugs me in my bored moments & makes me sad in the mad chaotic moments but as I get older I’m beginning to sit with the whatever attitude. It maybe a bit childish to type love me, love my children but they are my kids and if you dont want to be part of there lives you cant be part of mine. My sister has one friend. Friend has 1 daughter whos birthday is a week before 1 of mine and she gushes about what shes going to buy her. My kids get a card with money. O that makes me cross. The fact I sit in her cat smelling house for hrs on end every Saturday pisses me off more. I may have a busy house but its nicely decorated and fresh smelling. It maybe because I’m Mum but I dont see whats so bad that you would avoid my family.
So no family. I actually silently seethe. My mother once said dont visit out of duty or because you think you should, just visit when you want to. o that’ll be sometime between now and never then. My Dad, in fairness is as bad. They gush about there grandkids to there friends but they dont see my kids never mind know them as people. Last time I took them all down to my partents it was a couple of years ago for my dads birthday. They couldnt wait to get rid of us and my Dad phoned to to tell me not to do that again. There 1 bed house is just to small for all my children at once. Guess I should have staggered them eh??
This week should also have been my daughters 13th birthday. All day Friday I was distracted. I just thought I was out of sorts until my daughter Joy said You should be sad, its Jessicas dead day. Cute. 13yrs since she died. First year I havent opened the box I named all those years ago. I didnt cry over her photos that my Dad said I shouldnt show anyone, or the handprints my mum said looked “funny”. Maybe its just a sad week and I’ve pushed it into anger. I’m not bothered, whatever it is I have a busy enough life without bothering with people who arent around.
I have managed to keep up to date with my washing. Despite my kids best attempts to save there washing up; apart from the school stuff its all been ironed and put away. School stuff has been scowling at me since Friday but im ignoring it, it’ll get ironed tomorrow.
I’m off to bed. Its been a long week. I hope the world had a peaceful easter and if your thing is chocolate I hope you ate loads. My Baileys egg is sitting untouched. Not a big choc fan lol..