get over myself

Tomorrow work is closed.  I’m sure I would have mentioned the woman in work who grated on my nerves.  The one who wanted to take over when I was ill and generally put me into a bad mood whenever I seen her?  She was in hospital with pneumonia and her lungs couldnt cope.  She was put into an oxygen hood and she died on Sunday.  Her funeral is tomorrow and lots of staff are going.  Not sure everyone understood that we didnt like each other & me being me, I’m not going tomorrow.  I do feel sad for her family but shes gone and me going to her funeral would be hypercritical.

So work has been sombre.  Pat was a very formiddable woman and I guess we all just expected her to recover.  I certainly never imagined she would die.  Anyway work carries on.  Ok, weird spooky thing happened yesterday.  We obviously get black bags of clothes.  We sort through them and since there was loads yesterday I just jumped straight in.   First bag I opened had sweaters in it.  Its fairy obvious, fairly quicky when the clothes are from someone who’s died.  We have to size cube them so I look at neck to check.  Inside is a marks label and a name sticker.  Her tag said j Young.  I thought that was a bit strange, my own name and I felt slightly uneasy.  I continued, opened another bag and the next one had her jackets.  I found out that her name was, Jess, jessie, jessica.  That was enough for me.  My own name spooked me.  Seeing the name of my deceased daughter was just a bit weird so I walked away from the bags.  I kinda put it to the back of my mind but mentioned it to someone who was astounded.

Its only a name I said.  Ok, its always going to be my name but I have an add on so whilst it was a bit weird Im not sure I should read anything into it or should i??

jacqui

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Anyone bored??

Tuesday night.  Just anoher normal night.  Family, life; it all mingles into one and routine I guess is boring.  I spend my nights in the company of my 14yr old daughter.  She watches tv and I normally either read or last night was buying online for her trip to Italy.  Its quiet, I like it that way.  Younger kids in bed & no one bugging me.

 H has been upstairs with the younger boys.  Comes into my sittingroom and says too much excitement in here, I’m off to the and names a pub.  I look up & say ok then.  Hes half way down the stairs and comes back up with a “I’ll take you for lunch tomorrow”.  Hmm, will you now??

I’m obviously a touch sensitive.  I’ve been bored for years so just accept it.  Ok, I had made the point that on his nights off he either drinks to excess or falls asleep but I found it offensive, he just fkd off.  Actually, why does the world revolve around him??  Im spending way to much time hitting my head saying what the f.

jacqui

Hair issues

I tend to dye my hair every 2wks so dont often mention it.  I just pop to my local superdrug, buy 3 boxes of my colour and go.  Garnier Movida is my chosen brand.  Well, it was.  It seems its been discontinued.  My dilema is this, keep to the colour plum and go for a different make or just change the colour?  Movida seems to have been replaced by herbashine but do I really want bamboo extract on my head??  I have a feeling that plum as a hair colour is on its way out.

I like plum.  The colour suits me and to be frank, I know what I’m doing.  No allergy test required click bottles together and go.  How lucky am I?  The biggest problem I have in life is what to do about my hair colour and whether to change it.

jacq

I should have

Just went to work this morning.  I havent been to bed in a few days.  When I’m unwell & coughing I dont sleep.  I’ve always been like that so just doze on a sofa.  Last night was H’s night off work.  10.30pm hes bring upstairs his nibbles and a bottle of vodka.  I do point out that maybe instead of sitting drinking he’d be better going to bed given he complains to being tired whenever he has an opportunity and drops off if there is quiet for any lenght of time.  I’m told its my night off and I’ll go sit in the kitchen.  Ok, sit there watching a programme i’ve already seen till midnight me thinks,.  He actually goes down the stairs at midnight and have no idea what time he goes to bed.

This morning I decided to just have today off work.  I have my cereal and try and get my pc to work.  H does whatever he does in the morning, half sweep some floors then burns a pot whilst making his eggs.  Frustrates the hell out of me, burning eggs on purpose?  Whats that about.  He’s upstairs by 10.30am and thats him, does nothing but watch tv, seriously, does nothing?!  He does make lunch then starts talking about dinner.  O no, your not staying off work all day.  Mrs stupids bank a/c paid some insurance this morning and Mrs stupid expects to be paid back (I’m not allowed to timeframe when so will have to wait).  Work gets a brief visit before hes home taking youngest to get new trainers with Mrs stupid money.  I wish trainers were reinforced but sadly nike know what they’re doing..

Lesson of today.  Work, my work is required for sanity reasons.  Perhaps because I was a stay at home mum for 15yrs I cant abide sitting doing nothing in my home.  I want to scream so I dont stay in much less do nothing.  H obviously has no problem with it since he does it every working morning.  fairplay mrs stupid says.

I normally make allowances for H on a Wednesday and cater to his taste rather than the kids.  Meat and veg dishes dont go down very well with them but they usually get one.  Tonight they’re having chicken burgers and chips.  I’m pissed with H, maybe more than normal.  You know some people you feel the need to shake just to check theyre still awake?  I kinda feel like that all the time with him.  he got his eyes tested yesterday and woe if he needs reading glasses.  haha, reading?  i was told well, I do need to read maps.  Um, theres a state of the art sat nav in your car.  I’m giving up on the grounds that either hes mentally unhinged or I am, just not sure which..

jacq

What a week

We’ve had the birthdays.  Lots of money spent and the girls seemed happy.  We did have a bit of a blip this morning.  Two of the youngest had football matches and it was eldest daughters birthday but she had a friend in and I spent 2hrs cleaning my kitchen.

Yep, 2hrs and O I think it was much longer but I’ll stick with that.  O silly me.  I thought since I brushed the entire floor everyone did.  Ok, I dont normally give a stuff about the state of my floors but since I was there thought I might as well clean it right.  I’m astounded.  It didnt take a man 2 minutes to leave crumbs on the worktop, along with a dirty knife and various things out the fridge.  Ok, I can revert to mother voice and a stern warning.  Piss taker then threw a tea-bag into my freshly bleached sink.  This is normally the time when I shout.  Different approach.  I smiled, kept silent and removed tea-bag.  No one noticed far less cared but at least I rose above it.  I seem to require prompting whenever the kitchen is cleaned.  I have to remind them where there shoes go and every other thing they drop at there arses.  Its not normal.  Guess I have a house load who like to yank my chain.

O, Im typing on my own pc.  My tower has finally returned.  Its minus the list of favourites its taken me 10yrs to create.  Its always came with me and a stupid little geek removed it and no of course he didnt back it up cos I didnt ask him to.  WTF would be the point in backing it up.  At least I can start again eh.  Not like there was anything important? I had saved pages removed years ago that I simply cant find.  I had obscure little pages I popped into whenever.  Its all gone and he didnt see what the deal was.  The fucking deal was mate, it was all mine!!

Better go have my shower.  Ive decided to just wear black to my sons communion.  This is the first one were Im not stressing about what I’m wearing.  Every year I sit watching mothers who go ott in the way they dress and I’m not playing. A spray tan with my hair up and tits out isnt the look I’ve ever gone for, especially when going to mass.

Hope you all had a peaceful, stress free weekend.  and if your right, dont let any fruit bat tell you different!!!

jacq

jacqui

things not to do list

1. do not borrow earphones, they get removed and stroppy teenager needs them now!!!

2.  do not allow kids water balloons, this is important when wearing uniforms ready to leave for school.

3.  do not expect coffee with milk.  They eat there cereal, no milk for me.

4.  do not say if you hit, kick or punch each other I will do the same to you.  Tried, tested and doesnt work!!!

The list could go on but i’d be late.

jacqui

Speed ironing

Between the rain showers of yesterday and the washing from this morning i managed to get 4 wash loads done.  I hate not having my school washing done but since I put it out yesterday morning and it was still out it had to be washed again.  So the washing machine was on repeat and the 2 tumble driers were both on.  Bloody fkn washing.  O eldest gave it up.  Didnt last a week and its back to me.

I dont mind loading up the machines.  Its when you take it out and it sits there.  I look at it and I can almost see a face in it, smirking.  I know I’m going to have to iron it.  I dislike the whole bloody wash, wear, dirty cycle of clothes.  Self clean is required.  I did however work out that I wouldnt pay to have my ironing done for me.  In my area its .75p an item.  Today i ironed 48 items.  That adds up to £36.  I may not enjoy ironing but goodness £36?  At least there was no returns to the machine which I’m quite proud of. 

I got a text today that says housework is a virus.  Antidote is alcohol, found in local pub. I was told to forward to 6 friends.  If you dont have 6 friends you’ve already been infected.  I did forward to everyone saying we’re all infected and our local has closed.  No hope for me I guess except if my liver results come back clear I will be trying various types of alcohol until I find one that makes me forget I have a home never mind housework!!

Ok, if you were given a piece of paper & a pen what would you do with it.  I was asked this question.  You could obviously do anything with it.  In my little bubble I decided to write a list.  A list of what?  Um, things that need done in my house; you know, painting here, cleaning there.  Why write a list?  So I know what needs done and I will be able to priorities.  I didnt see anything wrong with this answer but maybe I should be worried that I didnt even consider drawing a funny face, a windmill perhaps or try and write something silly.  Nope, me I wrote a list.  Interesting question I thought.  All the choices in the world and I write a list of things to do haha.  Says it all really.

jacqui