I’m going out with grown-ups tomorrow afternoon. One of our guys J is leaving. I always thought of J as being a very moody shallow guy & to be honest I haven’t changed my view but I will miss him lol. He’s moving his life 300mls away to be closer to his children. Makes my heart sing. Anyway my shift is going out. Strangely none of our shifts guys drink. I did have the pleasure of meeting our new guy and that didnt make my heart sing. I wanted some fit guy and I end up with a guy in his 70’s. Okay, hes a very nice guy but he’s not up to filling J’s shoes. O and by fit I dont mean the eye candy fit I mean physically up to the demands of the job. Just thought i’d make that clear. My plan for tomorrow is leave work at lunch time, sit in a corner in our rather grotty local pub and stick a straw in a bottle of Vodka and get slightly merry for a couple of hours before I need to come home for the school kids.
Not done much else except work & worry. I’m having a prob with my youngest and whilst I’m not going to type about it I am giving myself a headache pulling my hair out over it. Thankfully my sons are away to footie so I have an hour of peace.
I like sleeping on my sofa. I’m not so keen when its because one of my daughters in feeling poorly. Sick children & I, we dont make a very good mix. I dont like trying to get to sleep only to be wakened up with a “Mum, I’m off to the toilet again”. O thank you for sharing but I dont require a blow by blow account, thanks.
My work is providing amusement. I like how the other team leader gets annoyed by my laidback attitude to head office. I seriously hack her off when she talks and I take the shrug my shoulders & I dont have to agree with you stance. I dont stress the small stuff. Its easy to lose sight of what we’re doing, why we’re there and when I get a reminder I absorb it. The guy yesterday & this morning who’s wife died in our hospice on Sunday is a prime example. She had told him to donate all her stuff when she “pegged” it and he’s wasted no time in doing so. Her funeral is this Saturday and he’s been bringing stuff to us for the last 2 days. He rediates such warmth with a wonderful genuine smile when he talks about her; thats why I’m there. I dont need an ego massage, some in my work could learn that..
Even little Cumbernauld is basking in sunshine. I havent bothered to do any washing today. O I’m sure I can find some but I’m in a so fk mood. Its a tikka curry tonight so better get moving and prepare it. I thank my Grandad for the curry. He lived in India for a few yrs in the 1930s & a curry is only a curry if its cooked right. Not sure I do cook it right but I do try.
O and I so wish I felt a happy vibe. Work is a total pain. I do like the stress of work. I just dont like the tug of war that goes on between work and my household thingy. Household responsibility, rather laundry responsibility seems to be down to me. Despite doing 6 loads of laundry yesterday the one freakin thing that wasnt washed is a must for tomorrow. It doesnt matter that my daughters have loads of white t shirsts. We only wear one for gym and one would rather get a detention than wear another. Next bit is for my daughter Joy, if only she read:-
So I didnt tell you that school washing had to be done before the school week begins? I didnt ask – frequently if you had any other school washing. In fact I remember asking you yesterday at the dinner table did I not? But now, now you decide that you really, really need it for tomorrow. Okay, you know and I know that i’m going to wash it but let me tell you young later, I am not a happy mummy. I’m more than a little annoyed let me tell you.
Thats the conversation from my end. Much easier if I go wash it me thinks. Child 1 Mum 0.
I am so easily pleased. All my children where taken out this morning. This left me free. I could have contemplated my navel but such is my brain I decided it was just to nice a drying day to let it pass. The cleaning of the girls room had left me with 3 extra full laundry bins & more bedding than I ever need to wash in one go.
Im so excited, I have managed to get all the washing complete (thanks to my 9kg washing). All my washing is out on either my clothes airer or washing lines. I’m a simple sad woman. I’m actually tickled by the fact that I’ve managed to do all the girls washing.
Whilst waiting for the washing machine to finish I made the mistake of cleaning out my cleaning cupboard. The place where cleaning products are stored was a mess. I have discovered I have some issues as far as household stuff goes. I over buy anti bac spray and I have enough sponge scourers to last until 2013. I also stash my shower gel in that cupboard. Not sure what thats about.
My proper pc came back from having its motherboard replaced. If I knew what the hell I did to corrupt my systems I could save myself a fortune. Both my pc towers have had there motherboards replaced at least twice. I blame frostwire for everything that ever goes wrong but I’m not actually sure thats the prob. Looking around my sitting room I’m on my usual pc chair with my big hulking tower pc. Eldest daughter is on her netbook, 2nd daughter is on the homework laptop, youngest daughter is on a laptop and even Mr B has his new laptop on. Thats 5 pc’s on. I can remember a time when I didnt even know how to turn 1 on never mind know what a CPU output was never mind understanding it.
Think its time for coffee & a look at the sky.
Full of great intentions I headed to my daughters room. There drawers couldnt be opened. There wardrobes were over full & clothes that have been long disgarded where still hanging around. More black bags than I cared to count and my 3 daughters now have functioning drawers and wardrobes with only clothes they wear. Its frustrating that in order to clear clutter i tend to make more mess but such is life.
The girls still have a long way to go. Floor space that should be clear still has random stuff. It took almost an hour to go through my daughter Hope’s drawers. She didnt keep clothes in her drawers. She kept the precious stuff all 10yr old have. Little notes from friends, her jewellery & make-up. My little pony thingys. Stuff I never figured on having in my world but thats life with a girly girl. I just smiled and let her keep what she wanted. I even managed a giggle at her bracelets. I’m not quite sure why we were to giggle but what do I know. Eldest daughter just tossed her various pairs of expensive jeans. Didnt matter if they were Levi or John Rocha, unrequired is unrequired. Middle daughter is to much like me so I just cower in the corner, afraid to comment. Funny how I get thats the way to go, wish others would take note.
I’ve had dinner and am quickly trying to drink my coffee before once more I enter the girls room. I wish they would just get a grip and keep the space tidy. At least now there really is no excuse. Wonder how long it’ll last..
Its a simple thing. Kids should keep there rooms tidy. I dont really care that my next door neighbours kids have dirty plates and washing all over there floors. I dont even care that there sink is full of dirty dishes, there floor has dog poo & sick on it. I’m not actually bothered that there is poo all over there toilet, including inside there sink. I do care that clean/dirty clothes are all over my sons floor despite the fact that I cleaned it during the week. i really seriously mind. I also mind the fact that my daughters are even worse than my sons. Mum’s normal Sunday? Well yeh except this week I have an extra day to rant & oodles of extra hours to actually do something about it. And I mind that my kids thought it would make a difference actually telling me how disgusting next doors kids are. Um a sink full of dirty dishes isnt down to the kids but I digress..
I love holiday weekend. Okay i’m not so keenn on having tons of extra washing & the fact the rain is approaching but thats why we have tumble driers..
No reason for the title. I like it thats all. Its after 11pm, both my tumble driers are on and I’m waiting for them to finish. So I’m here. Havent anywhere else to be so here I am.
I’ve had a mixed day today. I’m feeling a tad exposed. Mr B has started to open his laptop. I dont keep anything private so I guess he could find his way here. Read what i type and I dont like the idea of that. I’m not sure whether he would bother reading but the very idea that he potentially could doesnt sit well with me. This is my space. Its where I put stuff. Okay not the deep core of honesty that I save for just myself but you get what i mean. i dont fancy censoring it so will just hope he doesnt look & if he does well, tough.
Not sure what going on with me right now. I feel uneasy about something but cant quite put my finger on what. I usually just get busy, its not like I havent felt it before. I dont dwell on it and hope it passes. Okay, what if i’m supposed to figure it out. I hate when I start to ask bloody questions of myself.
I look at other people, Mr B is a prime example. To me, his life is pretty shit. He never has a penny to his name. Says he hates his job. Doesnt have any friends or hobbies. Watches mind numbing Tv programmes and the deepest thought he appears to have is what to have for his dinner and yet he never looks anything other than flat lined. He’s never up or down. Is that the way people should be? Maybe its me and I’m out of sync. I need to feel enthusiasm; a moment of true enthusiasm makes a day worthwhile and yet people like Mr B can go through days, weeks or longer getting nothing. Is the key to a happy life low expectations? I guess maybe once your in your late 40’s maybe you shouldnt have dreams or plans. The way Mr B lives his life grates me and yet we manage to live together quite happily. Actually not quite happily but you get what I mean lol.
Focus. Maybe the approach to life should be about focus. I focus on my children. They are my main focus. Then comes my house, then work. Its prioritising on a sliding scale. Mr B has a different focus. He’s more self based and I dont mean that in a critical way its just hes a very self absorbed man when push comes to shove he puts himself first. First comes his personal bills, then his car, then his work. Actually Mr B doesnt have a life outside work. Um realisation moment- o fuck neither do I haha. On that rather sobering thought my tumble driers have stopped and I’m off to bed. I really never, ever seen my life panning out this way. Not sure if maybe I should think any further but my head is saying toxic waste & thats not good. Neither is a life without some fun. I only have to look at Mr B to see the effects of that.