Pretty busy

I’ve been busy doing stuff that I put into another blog unconnected with this one.  If its about me I put it here but its not, kinda lol.  I hadn’t intended to type here but those darn stats keep ticking.

In previous years a day or two after my birthday my stats spike.  Not on current stuff I’m typing but stuff long gone & forgotten.  I had thought they had maybe just got bored since my birthday was 6 days ago.  Last night before I went to bed there was my spike.  37hits from one person.  Reading one post in Feb 2007 & let me tell you there was so much within that month.  The only month in my entire years of blogging that I set posts to private.  Would anyone be interested in reading something someone felt all those years ago?  Would I?  If they had read more from that month I would have been certain I knew who it was because there’s only one person who would know that was a life changing month.  Perhaps its because when I transferred to WordPress I deleted all previous entries.  Well, I type deleted but I obviously have them saved lol.  Just you guys can’t see them.  So just 1 post read from Feb 2007 and they jump into May 2008.  That wasn’t anything other than a month.  For some reason my Ex bil sprung into my head cos thats his birthday month but I dismissed that thought.  He could find me if he wanted to & why would he just pick that month?  Now I’m doing my own head in.  Have I forgotten something from May 2008.

May 2008 had a lot of entries about my daughter Joy.  Goodness Joy is 13yrs old now.  She bares no resemblence to the child she was back then & why would she be of interest to anyone who doesn’t know her.  The only other thing I typed about was weight loss.  Thats nothing new or old for me.  I’ve been gaining & losing weight all my adult life.  Happy or sad, fat or thin I’m not changing lol..  My body is like my mind, cluttered haha.  Have I changed?  Thats the interesting thing for me.  I don’t think they care which begs the question why are they reading?

I guess I have changed.  Since 2008 my life has seen many changes.  Fundamentally I’m who I’ve always been.  People are what they are all of there lives but who they are should always be changing.  Lol, my Dad told me that many years ago.  I remember answering Eh like he was mad.  He gave a long winded explanation of how if people don’t continue to grow.  If they don’t admit there mistakes &  learn from them.  If they sit in the past full of anger & resentment they stagnate & wither.  Yeh I get it.  i always got it but I look to the past the same as most people.  I just try not to settle in it.  The reason why someone comes back every year & reads will always be a puzzle to me.  Does it matter?  No.  Does it make a difference in my life?  No.  Do I care?  Of course I do lol.  If I did know them I’d type listen to Chris Cagle singing Anywhere but here.  Okay its country lol but thats what you told me & as far as I’m concerned that hasn’t changed.

Okay since I’m here.  I’m fine.  i’m just really busy.  Motivated by my own age change I’ve gotten busy for reason that don’t belong here,.  I’m happy at work & knackered at home.  Kids are all fine.  I had to read that sentence again but I got it right.  I actually don’t have any drama in my life currently & thats the way I like it.  I do have self imposed stress but that just the way I live.  Am I happy?  You know currently when I get into bed & put my head on my cold pillow (Lif comes into my head whenever I type about pillows, Lif was once a contact but what he has to do with pillows I’ve no idea) I know I’ve done my very best for myself & my kids that day.  Whether or not I’ve done enough who knows but everyday I’m really trying as hard as I can & thats all I can do 🙂

I’m off again

Jacqui

 

 

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Done

How over rated are those birthdays.  I bought my mother her flowers but snow stopped her visiting my work yesterday so I visited her.  Work gave me a birthday cake which was painful.  Grown ups singing happy birthday to another adult is cringe worthy.  The card & gift made me feel better lol.  My birthday has been & gone for another year.

Its a bit obvious I’m getting old.  Went for lunch& ordered a take away for dinner.  Fell asleep on the sofa & did’t get to bed until 2am haha.  Presents were fab.  I don’t think you can ever get to many Yankee candles which is just as well.  I’m a year older.  Fkn hate that lol.  This is my new year start.  I  just hope I’m ready for it.

jacqui

tomorrow’s another day

All in all today was pretty rubbish. Without exception all my kids have tried my patience. Only funny moment was when I took Jamie upstairs to see my new shower curtain. Its hook free & its funky lol. I sat on the bath & it fell on top of my head. No sympatjy from Jamie so just sat in silence. So much for putting it up myself.

I”m seriously. narked tonight. I think best idea is just go to bed. Ni-night

Jacqui

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

I should’ve known better

I’m sure that was a hit in the 80’s for a Scots guy called Jim Diamond>  Anyway my daughter Hope came home from school in tears.  Ita a long story & tomorrow hopefully it’ll be sorted or not.  Little girls can be such nasty beings.  Sad because Hope is such a beautiful little soul.  She’s nothing like me & takes everything to heart.

To take my mind off it I did what I do.  I went to the bathroom.  I had a new shower curtain & thought I might as well change it.  God almighty would weep at the state of my bathroom.  Shower curtain is kept closed.  I open it to find shampoo bottles, shower gels & even a bar of soap.  I don’t even remember buying soap.  It wasn’t even dove but some blue crap.  Is blue a colour in my bathroom?  NO!  i glance at my wall tiles.  i guess I must have been in pregnant stupidity when I put them up.  White wall tiles are so not a good idea.  Okay no sweat I’ve sprayed them with bleach & will get back to them.  I now have water pouring out my boiler overflow.  My pressure is at zero & I have a boiler cupboard stuffed full of paintings.  Fuck I’m bored of house shite.  I’m off to phone a gas engineer I used to work with.  Pat is a hard man to pin down but he’s non judgemental lol..

Who knew

Okay who knew that the post I titled up that means be quiet was actually the name of a porn site for women?  Seriously???  Omg I think I have to be the most dim woman on the planet.  Not a very good site name is it.  I only put it into Bing & omg.   Sssh isn’t even a word.  There I was tripping about my day whilst some poor women wanted to get there jollies haha.  Its quite sad really.  It did make me giggle.  I know women who are into porn.  When we’re together I make a noise, rub my head to get rid of the images inside.   Thats code for your going to far & they stop talking.  I’m quite open about being prim & I don’t apologise for that.  I just think some things should be private like sex.  I don’t type about sex & I’m sorry some women must have been visiting & thinking wtf but heh, life sucks haha.

Its been a long day filled with weird shit.  Kids did realise I was serious so tidied there bedrooms.  My son’s removed there clothes from my kitchen & I’m came out of my drama queen tower.  I’m off to put Kings of Leon in my ears & go to bed. ni-night

jacqui

Letters to them

Back at my pc & its only 6.30pm.  Thats never good.  I should maybe learn an intimidation technique to use on my children.  I’m sick of my own voice.  I do use choice words.  Would you or could you suggests there’s an option when actually there shouldn’t be.  I perhaps should just write them letters.  maybe they would read better than they would listen.

To Jamie; Thanks for doing your washing.  Can I point out that leaving it sitting in the washing machine won’t actually dry it.  Over filling the machine doesn’t help either. You do know  you will need to re rinse since its a 9kg machine not an industrrial one.  O and I will want to use the machine later.  I know you won’t sweat that but leaving your washing knowing I’ll do it.  Thats more than a little thoughtless.  Some may call it genius but I dont.

To Jennifer; I understand you were sent home from school unwell.  I get that you feel so tired its okay to leave your schoolbag on the kitchen table, your shoes in the hall & your jacket on a sofa.  I get that its easier for you to just leave your laptop on the floor & school work on a clean coffee table.  I even sympathise that you were so tired you slept through your dinner.  I get that after your dinner you were feeling to rubbish to put your plate into the sink.  What I don’t get is any sort of time frame for when your going to move your stuff cos I’m not.  I would hate for you to lose anything thats precious.  Thats not a threat, thats an observation.

To Joy; I think perhaps you need to get your ears checked.  i’m sure I heard myself telling you to leave Fudge alone & yet he snapped at your fingers.  A little suggestion for you.  I’m no smart arse but I do know more about pups than you do.  If you had listened you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.  Of course I care but its a scrape on a finger & there is no need to call emergency services.  I’m very glad you ate your dinner.  I’m a little surprised given you helped yourself to a double sandwich with cheese just before I cooked it.  You know that huge fruit bowl?  You eat that not sandwiches before dinner.  Thats just rude!  Btw when you mouth fucking bitch, I can understand that.

To Jack; Yes the Tv is staying off all night.  I asked you to tidy your bedroom last night.  Today I told you to remove you clothes from the kitchen.  You did neither & I asked so nicely to.  You made your own choice, its just, I’m in charge of your consequence.  You don’t do what your told its of no consequence to me, you all suffer.  I lose nothing.

To Hope: your BBM on blackberry is not my concern.  You are responsible for topping up your phone.  Your phone freezing isn’t my problem either.  Your brothers annoying you on a sofa? please remove yourself.  They’re boys.  If you could change your level of whining I’d really appreciate it.  I feel a headache approaching.

To Lewis: Its impetigo you have.  You are not at deaths door.  You might like the idea that you can sit about watching tv but you really should be helping your brothers in your room.  Read Jack’s yours is the same.  o & silent smirking does you know favours.

To Nicky: Not only are you the same as your older brothers with regard to your room.  I don’t appreciate being sworn at.  I don’t like when I cook dinner & you choose to eat breakfast cereal.  You bring your friends in without asking & expect everyone to move for you.  Your cheek & rudeness make me tired & annoyed.  You got sent to your room because I want quiet.  I would like your room tidy but I don’t hold out much hope.  & no your not getting supper.

I would tell them its just me who cooks for them.  I make sure they have clean clothes, clean beds.  They have a warm house & they don’t want for anything.  Would it matter?  No.  I’m pretty sure I know what I do wrong lol.  I hit out directives when I should be barking orders.  In my kids defense I’ve probably left it to late to actually get them to listen.  I can either dream or wait it out till they leave home.  Think its the leave home option.

jacqui