Archive | January 2013

Pretty busy

I’ve been busy doing stuff that I put into another blog unconnected with this one.  If its about me I put it here but its not, kinda lol.  I hadn’t intended to type here but those darn stats keep ticking.

In previous years a day or two after my birthday my stats spike.  Not on current stuff I’m typing but stuff long gone & forgotten.  I had thought they had maybe just got bored since my birthday was 6 days ago.  Last night before I went to bed there was my spike.  37hits from one person.  Reading one post in Feb 2007 & let me tell you there was so much within that month.  The only month in my entire years of blogging that I set posts to private.  Would anyone be interested in reading something someone felt all those years ago?  Would I?  If they had read more from that month I would have been certain I knew who it was because there’s only one person who would know that was a life changing month.  Perhaps its because when I transferred to WordPress I deleted all previous entries.  Well, I type deleted but I obviously have them saved lol.  Just you guys can’t see them.  So just 1 post read from Feb 2007 and they jump into May 2008.  That wasn’t anything other than a month.  For some reason my Ex bil sprung into my head cos thats his birthday month but I dismissed that thought.  He could find me if he wanted to & why would he just pick that month?  Now I’m doing my own head in.  Have I forgotten something from May 2008.

May 2008 had a lot of entries about my daughter Joy.  Goodness Joy is 13yrs old now.  She bares no resemblence to the child she was back then & why would she be of interest to anyone who doesn’t know her.  The only other thing I typed about was weight loss.  Thats nothing new or old for me.  I’ve been gaining & losing weight all my adult life.  Happy or sad, fat or thin I’m not changing lol..  My body is like my mind, cluttered haha.  Have I changed?  Thats the interesting thing for me.  I don’t think they care which begs the question why are they reading?

I guess I have changed.  Since 2008 my life has seen many changes.  Fundamentally I’m who I’ve always been.  People are what they are all of there lives but who they are should always be changing.  Lol, my Dad told me that many years ago.  I remember answering Eh like he was mad.  He gave a long winded explanation of how if people don’t continue to grow.  If they don’t admit there mistakes &  learn from them.  If they sit in the past full of anger & resentment they stagnate & wither.  Yeh I get it.  i always got it but I look to the past the same as most people.  I just try not to settle in it.  The reason why someone comes back every year & reads will always be a puzzle to me.  Does it matter?  No.  Does it make a difference in my life?  No.  Do I care?  Of course I do lol.  If I did know them I’d type listen to Chris Cagle singing Anywhere but here.  Okay its country lol but thats what you told me & as far as I’m concerned that hasn’t changed.

Okay since I’m here.  I’m fine.  i’m just really busy.  Motivated by my own age change I’ve gotten busy for reason that don’t belong here,.  I’m happy at work & knackered at home.  Kids are all fine.  I had to read that sentence again but I got it right.  I actually don’t have any drama in my life currently & thats the way I like it.  I do have self imposed stress but that just the way I live.  Am I happy?  You know currently when I get into bed & put my head on my cold pillow (Lif comes into my head whenever I type about pillows, Lif was once a contact but what he has to do with pillows I’ve no idea) I know I’ve done my very best for myself & my kids that day.  Whether or not I’ve done enough who knows but everyday I’m really trying as hard as I can & thats all I can do 🙂

I’m off again

Jacqui

 

 

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