Uneasy Feeling

Today I realised that my Sister had not had anyone in her house for a fortnight. I thought of my own house. People are always coming & going. I never have a day without visitors. Kids can be so welcoming & I often have young guys who pass me in the hall & I have no idea who they are lol.
Tonight I’m home alone. Jay is unusually out for a Saturday night. My 2 eldest daughters are both having sleep overs & I’m only left with 4 kids who are all fast asleep. God this house is quiet & its not even 10pm. I do have a plan. I’m going to pour a bacardi breezer into a funky glass & take my kindle to the garden. I can sit & relax before going to bed.

Home alone occasionally is fine. I’m not looking forward to the day when all my kids are gone. I know the reason we bring them up is to let them go but my how I’ll miss them. I’m off, ni-night world.

Jacqui

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Secrets

I hate secrets & I know we all have them. Would or should we tell? Tough call. I had a friend come in to see me at work. I was a bit surprised since we only really talk now in passing. Turns out she’s pregnant. She’s 41yrs old and already has 8 kids. She lives in a two bedroom house & heaven knows how she’ll cope. Her Husband has moved out and is living across the road at his dad’s. I don’t know what goes on between them & it’s not my business. When I was told a few months ago she was having an affair I didn’t comment. I hoped it wasn’t true & then I seen her with a guy. It was somewhere totally out-of-the-way where normally you wouldn’t be seen. Don’t know who was more embarrassed lol. I just dismissed it & thought oops. Best I had today was to tell her if she needed me she knew where I was. 9 kids I can’t imagine lol.

Jacqui

Praying for rain

I have a kingsize bed comforter outside on my washing line I know, another washing blog but i never tire of washing. It was such a pain to wash that I hoped it would rain today. Rain started at 11am. In my head rain is sent from heaven so it must be clean. I don’t care whether or not its true. It would give my new bedding an extra rinse. Of course i have a queue of washing but since its mine I thought it could wait.

I managed to free up an hour of my time this afternoon. O goody, goody a whole hour what could I find to do. It seemed like a good idea to go through one of my wardrobes. I have no idea why the hell I have so many clothes but I’m irked that I can never get anything in it. Despite having over head shelving & shelving down the sides it’s a tip. After an hour & a half kids have started asking whats for dinner. Chicken curry I reply in a tone that says I have no fkn idea when I’m going to cook it but I will, eventually. Why am I the only one who can bloody cook in this house. It’s not even difficult. Um I’m hoping that i have rice in my cupboard. What Mother doesn’t check she has ingredients before she announces whats for dinner lol..

I do have 2 huge black bags filled for a charity shop which I’ll drop off before work tomorrow. Thats got to be better than nothing. If I could just give a wardrobe an hour every day for a few months I’m sure I could sort those wardrobes. Can I be bothered? Thats a different story.

Jacqui

Playground tantrums

Is there any hope left in today’s society?? My youngest son was threatened on his way home from school by a group of boys 2yrs above him. My baby child thinks he can take on the world. Actually. He’d probably win lol. One of the boys Fathers appeared & shouted out the car window get him in a head lock then batter (punch) him. These kids are 11yrs old. I’m speechless but not surprised by his reaction. He’s a parent to 8 kids. Kids call each other names & squabble, its part of growing up & parents encouraging violence isn’t helpful. When I hear of perents behaving in this way I’m afraid the next generation is going to be worse than the last. With parents like that I really don’t expect anything will ever change. Fuck-wits should avoid having children for all our sakes.

Jacq

I need to stop talking

I talk a lot. In work this morning someone mentioned something that surprised me. I hate when people talk about things I was involved in that they frankly know little about. Unusually for me I didn’t say anything to her. At the end of our conversation she told me to keep my own counsel. That to me is polite speak for shut the hell up. I’m sure you guys reading would miss my washday rants (& please don’t * this just because I would consider shutting up about it).

Tomorrow I’m going to try & keep quiet. I’m not sure how that’ll work for me. I can’t help being open. O I get that people aren’t really interested in my fabulously intelligent children or my wonderful Lhasa Apso but I tell everyone anyway lol. O jeez I wouldn’t like myself if I wasn’t me lol. I do think I should pull back at least in work> Well thank you Kim for allowing that grain of self-doubt to enter my head. Coming from a woman who talks incessantly about nothing speaks volumes. I’m now wondering how an off the cuff remark by a colleague could rock my confidence. Maybe trying being selective about who & what I talk about will be good for me. Who knows maybe I’ll find it good to keep things to myself. I don’t think so haha..

Time for bed. Ni-night world
Jacqui