My turn again

Bank holiday Monday. When I awoke this morning I knew it was back. I’m a pro with cellulitis. I can’t even remember how often I’ve had it in the last 12yrs. The pain for me is fine. Its only ever been bad once. Its the chills & the fuzzy head I can’t handle. I can’t even describe the fuzzy head except to say it feels like a glitter ball is spinning in my head.

So I know my Drs surgery is closed. Its a small area above my knee so I don’t think a hosp visit is necessary. I do have spare antibiotics in a handbag. Could I remember what handbag? Nah, that would be to easy lol. Find them eventually so have started them. I would tell anyone with an attack of cellulitis to visit there drs surgery as soon as the redness appears but mine has always been very small & doesn’t spread far. I have spare antibiotics for days when my surgery is closed. Everyone has different symptoms & it can get serious so if in doubt get it checked. Don’t waste time, the minute you feel a hot inflamed area that’s inflamed see someone & don’t think it has to be on a wound site. Mine rarely are, actually mine has never been near any wound.

Tomorrow morning I will telephone my surgery & hope I get a prescription. Failing that I can waste a Dr’s time, show him what I already know & then get my script. I’m always amused that despite being a frequent sufferer of the condition Drs like to check, like I’m ever going to be wrong.

So a week off work for me. The pain is ok but my leg feels like its twice the size it normally is. The fatigue that goes along with it though makes work difficult. I’m telling myself its okay to take time off when I feel unwell. I’m a volunteer so its not like I get paid. I do feel guilty though. I’m off to bed. Nighty-night

Jacq.

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sleepy time

I can’t believe its after midnight. Thankfully kids are off school tomorrow. I’m leaving Mr Manager to cope & I’m having the day off work.

I didn’t get half the stuff that I had planned for today done. I had hoped to declutter youngest sons wardrobe but I ran out of energy at dinner time so that’s on the to do list for tomorrow. I’ve given myself a head start by cleaning my toilet, bathroom & part of my bedroom. I’ve actually picked all the clothes up from my floor. Yep I’m a 48yr old woman who lives like a teenager. Piles of clothes everywhere. I should get points for organising my piles though. Dirty are thrown in a heap beside my bed. Clean work clothes are thrown on the drawer unit that cuddles the bottom of my bed & underwear sits on top of my undies drawers. I do have a place for everything it just putting it in its place that I find tricky.

I had to fill a black bag from my work wardrobe before I could hang up my work washing but its done. Underwear is now in the drawers & laundry has been taken downstairs & is first in the queue tomorrow. A clean bed area feels cold lol. I guess the cold could be because I have my 4 windows open I’m pretty sure I won’t sleep well tonight but I guess I better try.

Jacqui

Jog on sweet child

Conversation started very sweetly. Mum can I? O I feel bad when I have to say no you can’t. My almost grown son points his finger in my face & says I’m gonna make your life hell. He’s told that won’t be a problem. I’ve already been to hell & I wasn’t impressed by the devils best shot so I think I can deal with a childs. The look on my sons face was priceless especially as I told him to jog on as I walked away. I love the little throw away conversation with my kids..

Jacq

Simple answers

I had a really good day today. Kids seem to have grasped that I’m a little off my game. I came home from work to a relatively tidy house. Even my 2 toilets had been cleaned. I kinda let the side down by my bad dinner prep but they ate without complaint. After dinner I lit my scented candles, put the lights off. & sat in the quiet. I love my yankee candles. Mr bean hated the smell of anything scented so its a joy to have plug in air freshners & yankee candles all over my house. My little way of saying up yours lol.

So now its 10pm. I’m quite glad today is almost over. Kids are all in bed. Jay & gf are quiet in his room & I’m surprisingly ok sitting at my kitchen table. No music in my ears just gurgling from my fridge freezers for background noise. My overhead lights are out but I do have light from my lamp & some huge yankee candles. I’m what you call visitor ready not that I get them. I’ve always been a visit by appointment only type of woman. My bf is at work & my other bf liz is at bingo. I never did get bingo lol.

And I’m not sure its a good idea or not but I’ve drank half a bottle of white wine. I figure its ok to drink alone every once in a while. I’m not drinking to forget I’m drinking cos, well cos I am.

I may stay up past my bedtime tonight. What kind of person goes to bed night after night at 11pm. It feels like I died and someone forgot to tell me. Jeez I’m 48, I’m not dead. I’ve still got that last first kiss to get & I better have sex again before I die. And not just any sex but great sex. Um think the wine is kicking in haha.

Weirdly my house phone just went. I was sitting here thinking about a guy who used to phone my mobile late at night. He’d obviously had a little to much to drink & he’d dial my number instead of his daughters. We used to chat. He would tell me how he didn’t see her enough & he wanted to tell her he loved her. I seen a picture of my own Dad today which is maybe why the guy popped into my head. I only have the one photo of my Dad & I was putting my youngest sons hand prints away in a safe place. Typical of me to use the same safe place for all precious stuff. I had a quick cry & carried on. I always miss my Dad but when the shit hits my fan I miss him all the more. Dads are such wonderful human beings. They can make the worst situations better just from being at the end of the phone. I always think Mums are great for advice that may or may not be followed. Dads though or rather my Dad ticked the same way I do so he could give clarity whenever I felt lost. I’m not feeling quite so lost today but the substitutes aint that great so its just as well.

**its now almost 11pm. Eldest & his Gf came into my kitchen. Despite telling them I’m quite happy on my own they thought I needed a conversation. My bottle of wine is almost finished & I’m down to my last cigarette. Kids ruining my fun. I’m off upstairs to my tidy clean sitting room. I’ll no doubt fall asleep on my favourite sofa & waken up to the sound of a son who’s lost his football boots. I love a Saturday morning. Its after 11pm & I’m still up!!

Jacqui