The think tank

I think it was a bad idea to have a bath before I go to bed. My bath takes ages to fill. By the time I get into it I’m already in a bad mood. I’m seething about one of my friends. Long story short she’s taken her hubby back after he decided that he didn’t want to split & he’s not ready for a divorce. Okay it might just be me but he told her he didn’t love her anymore. He said he wanted a divorce. Is that the kind of thing people say in the heat of the moment? For me that would be a deal breaker.. Jeez, she took him back. Okay so no divorce. Once he puts his hand down his trousers & finds his balls I’m sure he’ll change his mind – again. Both of them have been married before. How the hell can you get divorced once & then contemplate doing it for a 2nd time. Once is a mistake. Twice is just plain stupidity. Surely if you fk up once your not going to do it again. I’m off to bed with the words dumb fkrs flashing in my head. Nighty-night world.


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So not amused

I let many thing go. One thing I wont tolerate is making dinner and having it sit waiting. Only 2 out of my 7 bothered to appear at dinner time. It’s not a surprise. They don’t have to guess what time it’s served. 5.15pm & my dinner is ready and waiting. I was more than a little annoyed but went out into my garden to eat my own. I gave them enough time to appear. Not a lot else to do but put it all in the bin. I find doing the unexpected fun. The appeared asking where dinner was. There faces when I told them it was put in the bin were priceless. Will they do it again? yeh, probably but I don’t appreciate my home being treated like a hotel. My kids also expect supper every evening. When I’m pissed I like to give it back to those who’ve pissed me off. No supper tonight & if they’re hungry they only have themselves to blame.

Work was really busy this morning. It was also fun & the time passed really quickly. I managed to fit in a phone call to a member of staff who’s been off with depression. It was lovely to speak to Amy & I hope her treatment works. If it wasn’t for my annoyance with my kids I’d be pretty happy. I’m still needing my andy fix but sooner or later he’ll appear.


I have arrived

I asked my kids what they wanted for dinner tonight. The options where chicken stir-fry, chicken curry or baked potatoes. 6 picked chicken curry. All I had to do was wait for my online shop to be delivered. My £83.68 pence shop was delivered. Where’s my chicken I wonder. Looking at my invoice I discovered I hadn’t ordered any. I have arrived at either senility or looney land. Both are equally scary. Kids where not amused. Crisis was averted by getting eldest to bring home chicken but I was amused by such a dumb mistake. Personally I much preferred the bake potato I had.

Last week was like a rollercoaster ride. Someone would tell me something that made me happy. Someone else would tell me something that made me sad. I had to remind myself that everyone has ups & downs. I can’t solve everyone’s problems so I’m going to try letting others just be. My life is pretty okay in comparison. I’m in a happy zone. The only thing that would make me happier is a little Andy fix. He’s a guy I worked with. I speak to him on facebook but its not the same. He’s a grumpy bugger but I miss him. Its funny the people we meet who leave lasting impressions. Andy is one of the most honest men I’ve ever known. He annoyed the hell out of me but I really like him.

Past my bed time as usual. Ni-night world.


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This has been a shit week. Tuesday was the 16th anniversary of my daughter Jessica’s death. It’s cool that she died one day & wasn’t stillborn till the next. She died at 6pm but labour takes its time & it was after midnight before she was delivered. I usually go through what I call her box. The box no one sees. Silly things are kept in it. The bib I wiped her face with. The teeny bit of hair. The oodles of cards & her photos. Once a year I look at her photo’s and cry. Maybe its a Mum thing but I’ve always done it on the anniversary of her death. This year though I didn’t. I went out with my bestie & had a great night. I’m not planning to open that box this year. I’m really not into looking behind me. Stillbirth leaves few memories. The one’s I have are of other babies being born crying whilst I waited for mine to be born silent. I remember the silence was deafening. Anyway that time has passed & looking back doesn’t make it any better.

So this week has travelled along & work has kept me busy. I’m feeling a bit easier around Mr Manager & whilst I know it won’t last its nice that it doesn’t feel so strained. Not sure if it’s just the way I’m feeling or whether there’s another reason but I’m going with it. Okay so dinner time is approaching. It would be nice if my kids could figure out how to use my cooker but they never have. Think I better move.


He’s a star – Gibby & Kelly

Funny video had me in tears. His accent sounds like he’s from Bonnybridge which is 10 min from me. He’s such a brave wee Scots man. Kelly must be so proud. He almost knocked Kelly flying. He ran into the kids room & she ran about the landing trying to kill the teeny spider with a welly. Even funnier is Kelly’s laugh sounds exactly the same as mine ::))

Bumpty, bump

Not sure if this is just a Scots thing but when online we say bump if we type something & get nothing back. Nada, nowt, zilch. I should perhaps type Bump here on my blog but I’d get tired of doing it. I frequently remind myself that I just type for myself & maybe my typing is as scary as I am in person. I’m having trouble understanding this whole wordpress shit. Type inane drivel & people like it. Type something that’s important on a personal level & the bump comes into play. SO, bump, bump. I’m off to pick up my toys..