This life thingy just keeps going. I’ve been worrying about myself for months & today I finally seen my Gp who put my mind at rest & has given me some new meds. I had distracted myself so much that I was beginning to turn myself into a basket case. I need to chill & let life flow.
My house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas is approaching. My fireplace is being filled with little trinkets, I’ve even got twinkling lights on it. My kitchen has a huge Merry Christmas glitter banner on the wall & some baubles hanging from my kitchen cupboards. For the first time in years I’m beginning to feel excited as Christmas approaches. I never reached the ba-humbug stage but my enthusiasm didn’t reach the heights previously enjoyed. This year I’m going to let my enthusiasm ooze out of me. I really do it well & I’m sure my kids will appreciate me going into mad Christmas woman mode.
Work is getting busy as you’d expect & I’m even dreaming about it. I’ve developed a soft spot for Mr Manager, only took my 2 yrs. He’s good at his job & acknowledging that makes me feel better. Cutting him some slack has meant I’ve been working longer hours but I feel so much better being on his side. I never entered the bitch fest but coming out in support of him is the right thing to do.
I’m off to have supper & head to bed for an early night. Today was one of those days when I noticed how much life has changed since Dad died. I haven’t been to his grave in weeks. I don’t miss him any the less but no matter how much I miss him I know he’s not coming back. I pulled my big girl pants on today & I can’t take them off. I faced my fears today without him being at the end of the phone. I’m smiling because I did it by myself. i earned those pants today.