Chugging on

This life thingy just keeps going.  I’ve been worrying about myself for months & today I finally seen my Gp who put my mind at rest & has given me some new meds.  I had distracted myself so much that I was beginning to turn myself into a basket case.  I need to chill & let life flow.

My house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas is approaching.  My fireplace is being filled with little trinkets, I’ve even got twinkling lights on it.  My kitchen  has a huge Merry Christmas glitter banner on the wall & some baubles hanging from my kitchen cupboards.  For the first time in years I’m beginning to feel excited as Christmas approaches.  I never reached the ba-humbug stage but my enthusiasm didn’t reach the heights previously enjoyed.  This year I’m going to let my enthusiasm ooze out of me.  I really do it well & I’m sure my kids will appreciate me going into mad Christmas woman mode.

Work is getting busy as you’d expect & I’m even dreaming about it.   I’ve developed a soft spot for Mr Manager, only took my 2 yrs. He’s good at his job & acknowledging that makes me feel better.  Cutting him some slack has meant I’ve been working longer hours but I feel so much better being on his side.  I never entered the bitch fest but coming out in support of him is the right thing to do.

I’m off to have supper & head to bed for an early night. Today was one of those days when I noticed how much life has changed since Dad died.   I haven’t been to his grave in weeks.  I don’t miss him any the less but no matter how much I miss him I know he’s not coming back.  I pulled my big girl pants on today & I can’t take them off.  I faced my fears today without him being at the end of the phone.  I’m smiling because I did it by myself.  i earned those pants today.

Jacq

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Moan alert

I’ve had such a rubbish day. I’m feeling totally miserable & hacked off. Work was short staffed & I had to stay on later than usual. I ended up cold, wet, hungry & very bad mooded. I didn’t get home until 2.30pm. Youngest gets home from school at 3pm & I’ve still not eaten. Today is just one of those days I can’t wait to see the back off. My hip is annoying me, my legs are burning when I stand still. Sitting would be great except I keep having to get up again. I’m running out of energy lol. All I want to do is get to my bed & forget about today.

I miss my old Dad on days like today. I know its just a bad day. Tomorrow is another day & may even be better. I need to get to the Doctor about my hip. I’ve never had anything cause me quite so much discomfort for so long. Its getting me down…

Jacq

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Shattered.com

Its been a busy day. I did loads of shopping & spent oodles of money on my kitchen today. Kitchen is about to be decorated. My fabulously bright purple walls are going to be transformed by a tranquil grey so blinds & tableware were all purchased today. If anyone sees the real Jacqui can I have her back please. The right now Jacqui has to much purpose. She’s costing way to much money & she’s exhausting me. I can’t wait to get to work tomorrow for a rest.

I’m actually excited about tomorrow. I’m finally having skirting boards fitted in my sitting room. its a bit mad not putting it down with the new flooring but in my world half jobs are the norm. At least its getting finished. I didn’t manage to do any christmas wrapping today despite getting loads of stuff delivered. I’ve hidden it in full view & nobody has even asked what’s in the bags lol. Maybe kids are as tired as I am. I’m off to bed. Ni-night world.

Jacq

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Omg

 Today I went somewhere other than work.  A funeral directors is on the same street.  I look over & seen a trolley with a black body bag being taken out of the place.  Weird I suppose these things happen but weird.  Turned on the radio & this was the song that was playing…

Lets shout it out

Work was surprisingly trying this morning. Mr Manager is stressing again. When he stresses it makes me feel stressed. I could seriously live without work stress right now.

Back home & I managed to wrap one Christmas present. Woo, okay I should have & could have done more. Tbh, I just couldn’t be arsed. I’m tired & a 6am start is to early for me. My 3 younger sons have been dancing all over my nerves. I seem to spend to much time shouting there names. I hate being ignored & yet that’s exactly what they do. A 14yr old, 12 & 10yr old all pressing my buttons is exhausting. Tomorrow I’m going to just say 2 words to whoever crosses the line. You, bed. If they don’t listen I’ll just go to mine hahaha. Its been a tough day.

Finally, thank you my little searcher for the morning visit. I’m just going to assume your here lol. I hope you weren’t waiting for some earth shattering post because I’ll never have one of those. I really do wish you peace & happiness. Ni-night world.

Jacq

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Better Now

I don’t listen to this often.  I always think of crocodiles when I listen to this.  I love crocodiles partly because they don’t cry.  love this song for all the wrong reasons.  i wish I didn’t get it but I do.  Makes me want to type in Latin hahaha.