Chugging on

This life thingy just keeps going.  I’ve been worrying about myself for months & today I finally seen my Gp who put my mind at rest & has given me some new meds.  I had distracted myself so much that I was beginning to turn myself into a basket case.  I need to chill & let life flow.

My house is beginning to look a lot like Christmas is approaching.  My fireplace is being filled with little trinkets, I’ve even got twinkling lights on it.  My kitchen  has a huge Merry Christmas glitter banner on the wall & some baubles hanging from my kitchen cupboards.  For the first time in years I’m beginning to feel excited as Christmas approaches.  I never reached the ba-humbug stage but my enthusiasm didn’t reach the heights previously enjoyed.  This year I’m going to let my enthusiasm ooze out of me.  I really do it well & I’m sure my kids will appreciate me going into mad Christmas woman mode.

Work is getting busy as you’d expect & I’m even dreaming about it.   I’ve developed a soft spot for Mr Manager, only took my 2 yrs. He’s good at his job & acknowledging that makes me feel better.  Cutting him some slack has meant I’ve been working longer hours but I feel so much better being on his side.  I never entered the bitch fest but coming out in support of him is the right thing to do.

I’m off to have supper & head to bed for an early night. Today was one of those days when I noticed how much life has changed since Dad died.   I haven’t been to his grave in weeks.  I don’t miss him any the less but no matter how much I miss him I know he’s not coming back.  I pulled my big girl pants on today & I can’t take them off.  I faced my fears today without him being at the end of the phone.  I’m smiling because I did it by myself.  i earned those pants today.