Don’t ask me ever

If your a parent you’ll know that there’s a right way to do things & a wrong way.  There’s also the grey way as I call it.  The winging it way where you come up with a good idea, or what seems like a good idea & you run with it.  You set your plan into action.  You pray, hope & plead with your kids for the plan will work.  Every bloody plan works in theory.  My kids are brilliant in theory its just the practical reality thingy we’re not so good at.  Note I did type we’re.  I’m including myself in the failures.  My delivery must be shit.  Those darn kids must realize I’m winging it & sabotage my ingenious plans.

I was chatting to my psychologist on Wednesday.   My psychologist is an expert on family issues.  She is also the first to admit she’s never worked with a Mother with the number of kids I have.  The dynamics of my family are complex & I get that.  The goal is for me to be the one in control.  It’s became very apparent that I am not the one in control.  I’m the adult & I’m the one who wants to hide.  Anyway during our conversation she looked at me quizzically & said it seems  the only consistent thing about you as a Mum is your inconsistency.  I laughed as I agreed with her (bad Jacqui).  I know I don’t follow through.  I am what is known as chicken hearted.  She also pointed out that its okay if my kids don’t always like me.   Today as I told my 5 younger kids what I expect from them in the next couple of days I could see the eyes glazing over.  Will they do as instructed?  I sincerely hope so because if they don’t they know the consequence will be severe.  I sometimes wonder what will become of my little slobs.  Time will tell.

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