Is it not enough?

A guy asked me this morning what I do with myself from 2pm every day.  I answered with a laugh.  The reality is I come home & clean.  I clean silly stuff.  I’m stressing and I’m worrying.  I’m waiting for my mobile to ring.  I’m worrying about what my youngest has stupidly done.  Every school day is the same.  I get up feeling sick & distract myself till he’s home.  I can’t change how he behaves.  I’ve tried so hard to point him in the right direction.  I give him consequences.  He’s a law unto himself.  He rubs out any lines drawn for him.  The sad thing is he could be a great child if only he allowed himself to be.  Is it enough to worry myself sick because that’s what I’m doing.  Right now its all I have.

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