St Andrews Day


I wonder how many Scots know that Andrew was crucified on a diagonal cross.  Scotland adopted the diagonal as its emblem & flag.  I always thought that was amusing given Scotland was thought of as a protestant country for centuaries.  Whatever our faith we who are Scots have a reason if we need one to celebrate today.  No haggis or whiskey required because I hate them both in equal measures.  Goodnight :0)


Way to popular


I went to my Dad’s grave today.  I’m always stunned by the silence although given its full of dead people I get it.  I don’t like the silence but I get it.  His headstone looked bleak, without flowers it looks like nobody visits but I do.  You can see where I stand, my feet have worn the grass away.  You can see where I kneel to whisper- to him, the ground beginning to expect my weight.  Even when the ground is wet I  kneel.  I know he can’t here my whispering but I still do it.  I know exactly what he’d say in reply.  I just wish he was here to say the words.

My Dad taught me how to cook & we spent many hours in the kitchen together.  Our kitchen really was the heart of our home as is mine.  I love when we’re all in my kitchen, we have a great time & stay way longer than we should.  When the kids leave & I sit at my table alone I often think of my Dad.  He’d have loved being in amongst the chaos of mealtimes.  Life goes on but o how I wish we could go back in time.  I wouldn’t need to stay long except I’d never want to leave.

Happy, happy

I totally smashed cleaning out my coat cupboard.  I can’t quite believe I filled 23 huge black bags.  It did take most of the afternoon but it’s done.  Another wee bit of my house I’ve claimed.  No more mess or chaos.  A clean neat space to store jackets & school bags.  I feel so much better.

Today has been way to long.  I’d forgotten what its like to fall asleep with my phone in my hand.  My eldest texted me last night at 11.45pm.  I should have ignored my phone but I really cant.  He was at work & bored.  He was still up for texting at 1.45am.  I was totally shattered & just wanted to go to sleep.  I eventually reminded him I had to get up at 7am & fell asleep whilst waiting for his reply.  Phones where a bit of a theme for me today.  I got a couple of cryptic texts this morning.  I have no idea why & I don’t want to know.  I ignored them & I’m going to pretend that they didn’t happen.  Familiarity definitely breeds contempt.