Hidden

Whilst your still here I should mention I just blocked you on Facebook.  You would have guessed I’d do that right.   It would be cheating if I’d locked you out of here & left another door open.  I do hope your still here anyway otherwise typing this would be silly.  I hope we survive without each other..

I always feel so fortunate when I come home from Kates.  My world is chaotic in a weird calm way.  I can’t explain what I mean.  In my home their is usually raised voices.  Their maybe fights but my home is tidy & free from clutter.  I cannot abide clutter or crap perhaps because no fucker would tidy it up.  Kate’s world is a mess.  She is the untidiest person.  I’m scared to open her bedroom door because I don’t know what lurks behind it.   I’m reminding myself that life is way to short to worry about the state of a house.  We’re all going to be dead one day.

I’ve not done my reflective post this year & I’m not going to.  I can feel emotion welling up & that’s not good.  My year passed without any personal drama.  Some of my kids haven’t been so lucky but we’ll get through.   Tonight we’re partying large in my house.  I wish everyone of you a great start to 2017.  The whole book of 2017 is about to begin.  The 365 days have blank pages.  I for one am going to make them count.

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Annoyed is me

I made a stupid mistake & it was not my fault.  One of my daughters reads my gas & electricity meter for me.  Instead of giving me my day electricity reading she’s been giving me my total electricity usage.  Fk knows how long she’s being doing it that way but to say I’m annoyed is an understatement.  Add to that in central Scotland we have the Celtic/Rangers football match & Rangers are a goal up this is not the best of days for a lifelong Celtic fan like me.  As I’m typing Celtic have brought it back & we have a goal!!!!  I shouldn’t watch football.  My Dad has been reincarnated in me as I jump up & down screaming at the Tv.  It’s like he’s in the room lol..  I can’t watch an old firm match without reacting so best thing i can do is go out.

I’m off to put my Dad’s favourite chocolate on his grave.  I’ll tell him I’ll try to do better next year & I will.  Whether or not I succeed is a different blog post not yet created.  I look forward to next years blog posts.   It’s then time to visit Kate who’ll tell me that whilst she says shut this blog to search engines she really didn’t mean it.  Oops to late but if anyone could have changed my mind it would have been her but my mind is made up.  If its any comfort to any search engine users I’m not going to get away with not feeling it because I will.  Have a great afternoon :0)

It’s for the best

I know its the right thing to do.    All you ever had to do was acknowledge you read but you didn’t.  We’re to old for this shit.  I’m to old for this shit.   I’m shutting you out because I can.  I told you all those years ago one way communication is no communication.  I’d send you back to the Noddy post. . That post was all about you but your days are long gone.  Your answers though would still be the same.  Your wasting both of our time.  You created the life you wanted don’t bother looking back.  No one lives there anymore.     You married a good woman, give her your attention God knows she’s earned it.  Knowing that makes your visits here unfathomable.  I’ve given up the  possibility that its someone else.  It’s you & I know its you.  I had an inkling 5 years ago.  I decided never to type any personal stuff because of you.   I typed some pretty mean stuff about you & that’s your own fault.    Before you leave I would be incredibly sad if you died. I typed once that I’d feel nothing but that’s not true.  I wouldn’t miss you but I’d miss the potential you once had.  You could have been someone huge in my life.  Actually you were huge in my life.  If i could go back to being 21 again I’d never let you go.  We’re not 21 anymore haha.  We’re 30yrs omg, 30yrs older.

I can’t believe how quickly 23 days have passed.  It seems like only yesterday I checked my coat & now I’m putting it on.  Search engine hits are funny things.  I never go a day without them but that’s because of searches from my name.  Google crawlers will stop indexing this space in the next few days.  Despite me shutting it down to search engines today, Google will closedown in its own time.  In the meantime I’ll continue to do my thing & my name searcher will do his.  It’s not like you couldn’t work out how long 23 days were.   I have challenged myself to keep my settings for at least 52 weeks.  It’s not forever.  It should be long enough to forget the unforgettable.  I’m not sure whether that’s me or you but time will tell.  What if we both remember, then we’re fucked haha.  Stay safe my Noddy & if it gets tough without me I’m only a pm on facebook away.  Don’t expect an instant reply, I tend to ignore pm’s for the longest of time.   Have a great 2017,.

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Day 95

image

I’m assuming you’ll all get thats me.  I love this photo.  It was taken by one son as the one I was holding on to tried to escape.  I have this urge to sing a Phil Collins song but heh ho 🙂

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All mine

I go into my handbag which is a huge fiorelli bag.  As I’ve gotten older my bags have gotten bigger.  I pull out 3 bottles of perfume, 3 compact mirrors,  work keys, house keys, 2 bottles of body lotion, a bottle of l’occitane conditioner, various make-up including 3 lip pencils, various hospital appointment letters, my own HTC phone & a stray iPhone 5s.  A vest top & a t-shirt stuffed in a corner.  A packet of cigs are in a zipped compartment & the reason for going into my bag.  My lighter, not so easy to find.  That’s because it’s not in my handbag.  Then I remember putting my lighter on top of my empty pack before putting them on top of my cooker hood.  I curse my stupidity.  Who puts things out of reach of themselves.  No loitering for me today.  I’m off home for a nicotine hit. I’m seriously losing the plot today.

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