I had intended to start today with great enthusiasm. I didn’t plan on still being awake at 3am. The events of yesterday played on my mind. I am so frustrated by youngest & his behaviour. I so wish he’d grow-up but he’s 12 so we have a while to wait. I have a while to wait. In the mean time I’ll have to just hang on & hope for the best. Underneath the nasty, cheeky, defiant child is a wonderful one. I just have to pray that my calmness & fair resolve will work eventually. I have no problem with him anymore. He’s never violent or aggressive to me. I never thought I’d type that but I did. I can shut his attitude down with a look. He still has his moments but his biggest issue is at school. No one seems to be able to deal with him with any type of authority. A teacher calls him out & he’ll challenge them. He gets pleasure from winding adults up & they fall right into it. Teachers then bring the ego out to play & chaos wins. When chaos wins Nicky loses. He’s not a stupid boy but adults are more experienced so of course they win,.
My day could have been worse. I did the dreaded thing again. I actually did it all by myself (pat on the back time). Today isn’t a day of making every day count. I’m sorry but today I can’t be arsed haha. Every time i decide to shift my focus from my kids one of them, usually Nicky throws a curve ball. I’m to much of a hands on parent to let him sink & that’s probably part of his problem. Mum appears & attempts to sort all of his problems,. Maybe I need to realise I can’t.