I’m allowed

I’ve had a rubbish afternoon.  I did the usual stuff.  I brushed the floors & washed them.  I scrubbed my kitchen wall tiles.  I threw the bathroom mats into the washing machine.  I loaded the tumble drier of the wash someone did last night.  I did the crappy, tedious jobs that no other fucker is stupid enough to do.  Nobody.  I muttered to myself as I prepared dinner because the child on kitchen duty pissed off with his friend.  He treated himself to dinner whilst he was out.  The others came downstairs when shouted only to see my table still had washing from whenever.   The magic fairies hadn’t put away.  Table/washing is a chore in my world.  I don’t leave washing laying about.  Some people help by driving me totally fucking nuts.  Today was not a day to be pissing me off,.  Strangely kids started to do exactly what was expected of them.  Jack must have sensed I was more disappointed than annoyed because he hugged me & said sorry.  I blame myself.  My expectations are obviously way too high.

My allowed bit is just sometimes I wish you were still here for me to have a moan at.   I wish that quite a lot but that says more about my life than anyone else’s.  That’s really selfish of me I know but you made the craziest of days better.  To be fair I didn’t know what teenagers where like back then.  I’m not sure why you hit so many times today but I’m dim in a way I never used to be.  I hope your okay.

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