I love challenging myself. It breaks up the tedium & boredom that comes with life. I’ve decided to start a 3o day challenge of making every day count. Last night I couldn’t sleep. I knew today was fast approaching. I didn’t want today to arrive. I survived it instead of living it. I was so annoyed with myself.. I did what I had to but I didn’t enjoy it. I’m not enjoying being me. I’m not even sure that makes sense to anyone other than me but it’s true. I’m getting lost in the quicksand of kids & other annoyances. I used to think anything was possible. I know it’s not but I need a little bit of hope that maybe I can be more than I am. I’m still a dreamer.
So what does make each day count mean to me. It means don’t be lazy. It means do something positive for me, not for someone else. Find something I want to do & just do it rather than worrying about other people. I swear no one worries about me (except maybe Joy but she’s my wee rainbow). I don’t know about you but my days just blend into one huge blob of inconsequential, soon forgotten nonsense. Today was a day I survived when I should actually be proud of myself. I actually did something I knew I’d find tough & it was but I did it. I seriously need to change my self-perception & stop beating myself up. If I was standing in front of a mirror right now I’d smile & say, lets do this. I might just amaze myself 🙂
.People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”
— Norman Vincent Peal