Every day..

everydayI love challenging myself.  It breaks up the tedium & boredom that comes with life.  I’ve decided to start a 3o day challenge of making every day count.  Last night I couldn’t sleep.  I knew today was fast approaching.  I didn’t want today to arrive.  I survived it instead of living it.  I was so annoyed with myself..  I did what I had to but I didn’t enjoy it.  I’m not enjoying being me.  I’m not even sure that makes sense to anyone other than me but it’s true.  I’m getting lost in the quicksand of kids & other annoyances.  I used to think anything was possible.  I know it’s not but I need a little bit of hope that maybe I can be more than I am.  I’m still a dreamer.

So what does make each day count mean to me.  It means don’t be lazy.  It means do something positive for me, not for someone else.  Find something I want to do & just do it rather than worrying about other people.  I swear no one worries about me (except maybe Joy but she’s my wee rainbow).  I don’t know about you but my days just blend into one huge blob of inconsequential, soon forgotten nonsense.  Today was a day I survived when I should actually be proud of myself.   I actually did something I knew I’d find tough & it was but I did it.   I seriously need to change my self-perception & stop beating myself up.   If I was standing in front of a mirror right now I’d smile & say, lets do this.  I might just amaze myself 🙂

.People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”
— Norman Vincent Peal

 

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