Balance required

I was up at 8am this morning.  My washing machine was loaded & I went out to sit in my garden.  Garden is a tip but when I look up well, the sky looks awesome.  My internal talk was annoying.  I had to clear my kitchen table, brush the floor, reload the washing machine when it was finished.  Move stuff, clean stuff, tidy stuff.  The list in my head was never ending.  I could hear the sleep over boys wakening up.  My peace was about to be shattered by the chaos of 13yr olds.  Then I had a thought.  Why not just do what you want.  If you don’t want to do any of the things on that bloody list don’t do them.  Who in the fuck is going to call me out on not doing them.  As I had that thought 2 magpies landed in front of me.  I swear it was a sign!!!!  Okay so honesty time.  I did brush the kitchen floor & clean my kitchen table.  I moved stuff & I did clean off my worktops but that was it.  I didn’t go find the school uniforms because I don’t wear them.  I hung my washing out on the line but only because it was mine.  It’s Sunday & I’m giving myself a break until I get bored & NEED to do something which should be any minute now 🙂

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And she laughed

I cleaned my bathroom at 8 pm tonight.  When I mentioned it to one of my daughters she laughed when i told her why.  The reason was simple.  I felt tired.  I didn’t want to wait until bedtime.  Of course I don’t find it amusing & I didn’t appreciate her laughing.  Apparently not many people consider cleaning when tired.  Who knew.

Tonight I have a few extra teenagers.  I’ve been sent to bed so they can watch some crap on netflix.  I need to remind myself to wear pj’s  just in case they kick off.  Me, six teenage boys & three teenage girls.  I have so much fun lol.  Actually I’m pretty lucky to have a full house.  That’s a blessing I wouldn’t be without.

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Twat alert

all true

I seen the above & immediately thought of Barry.  Barry, I don’t mention you as often as I should.  The reason is very simple.  Your not big in my world.  I think your a twat haha.  A self absorbed egotistical twat.  If you took your head out of your ass & actually became a bit less self absorbed you’d be a nicer person to be around.  I know you visit here because well, I’m a woman & whatever you think I don’t know, I do.  You have potential Barry to be a nice guy but your a bit of a nightmare.   Just thought I’d share 🙂

Brighter day

I discovered today that I love working on my own sometimes.   I was totally absorbed in doing what I was doing.  My work isn’t a challenge so I got to let my brain wander & it wandered far.  Four hours later & I was finished.  Time to go back downstairs & rejoin civilization.  The chattering hit me the moment I walked through the swing doors.  A challenging ‘ your the manager aren’t you’ greeted me.   I hate complaints but he was a man & easy to placate.  I promised to try & source what he wanted by next week.  I almost gave him my home phone number before I realised it wasn’t our shop 🙂  After him I quickly dodged a woman who used to work with us.  She recently dumped her 2nd or 3rd husband.  She’s already moved onto next & I really didn’t want to meet him.  She’s in her 60’s so really should know that substitution is no solution.  Maybe though a substitute is a great distraction?  What do I know lol.  It’s 3pm & my washing machine should be loaded before today runs away with me.

So much to do

I’ve got so much to do tomorrow.  Work will take up most of my day.  School is going to be back sooner rather than later so uniforms need washed.  I haven’t done any of my own washing this week so that needs done as well.  Yep, I’m groaning lol.  I’ve got a nagging pain in my lower stomach that I’m hoping isn’t stomach cramp.  Please don’t let it be an approaching period.  Every time I get close to menopause I take a period.  It’s almost like my own body can’t help but laugh at me.  I’m not one of those women who’ll weep at the loss of fertility.  I’ve done more than my bit to populate haha.  I just want to hit menopause & cruise my way through to a different cauldron.  I’ve never been as calm a human being as I am now (honest, I’m calm!!!).  I’m pretty sure it is stomach cramp & I’ll be soooo disappointed.  Here was me thinking I’d cruise to a completed menopause without a hot flush or a hissy fit.  Fuccckk I hate being female sometimes…

Leave a bit for me

I feel like everyone wanted a piece of me today.  Mr Manager expects me to price thousands of items of clothing & I mean thousands in a blink of an eye.  I can’t do it.  I told him I can’t.  The answer I got was well you’ve known since Monday.  Telling me something & freeing up my time so I can actually do it are not the same thing.  Strike 1.   I knew it wasn’t going to be my day.  Youngest texts me next.  His mood is awful & I know he’s having a hard time.  Strike 2.  I come home & my phone rings.  It’s his principal teacher telling me she’s having a hard time with him being defiant (Um yeh small clue in his diagnosis).  I can’t advise her because I’m a parent not a teacher.  Strike 3.  Strike 4 happens way to quickly with teacher phoning me to ask if I can pick him up from school.  He’s not excluded but if he’d stayed in school he would have been.  Strike 5 comes when Daddy parent is told & he flips.  Blah, blah follows & apparently it’s all my fault.  Baby child is still in  his defiant mood.  I can’t reason with him & I’m not going to try.  This is a battle I can leave until another day.  It’s not a war & it’s not a big enough problem to become one.  I have my own shit to do today.

I can’t solve every ones  problems.  I’m a bit tired of people expecting me to bale them out.  I’ve got nothing left to give tbh.  If I was a pizza I wouldn’t even have the crumbs left.   I’m so tired of others drama.  I’m totally fed up stressing about other people.  Everyone seems to expect me to do whatever they need or be wherever they want/require me to be,.  They should maybe look to themselves first.   Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in it.  I don’t want to play with these people anymore.

 

Just a day

Today has had more positives than negatives.   Today was a day just for me & I thoroughly enjoyed it.  My evening has been quiet.  All I have to do is survive a few more hours & today is done.  I cannot believe I’ve just had a stress free day.  I hope o haven’t just jinxed it. 

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