Confused relief

I did a fkn dumb thing with Nicky tonight.  He asked a question
& I said no.  He caught me off guard, I swear I held my breath.  How could I be so dumb.  I stayed silent & scanned his area ffor weapons.  I love my current coffee cup.  It’s big & red.  I wrap my old hands around it like its a blanket.  My cup is sitting in front of him.  I reach over & move it towards me.  He does nothing.  He sits quietly watching tv.  I thought maybe he was lulling me into a false sense of security.  I stay focused on what he’s doing & he did nothing.  I used to no word & he accepted it??  You know I’m not going to sleep tonight haha.  I can kiss weird dreams goodbye for tonight.

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