Sometimes my dreams are so vivid it puts me off sleeping. Last night I had a dream about a guy I know. I chew his ear off about Nicky sometimes. You know when you have a sympathetic ear & you bash it, it’s that kind of thing. He listens, I dump. It’s no more, no less. I know he worries about me & perhaps I should remember that. In my dream he comes into my work. We always move away from people so we go sit on a sofa which is not unusual. He asks if I’ve ever thought about having a fling. I explain that I’m not ‘fling’ material & he asks why. I actually felt offended. He thought I’d be flattered haha. He so misjudged me. Actually I think calling something a fling is disrespectful & hurtful. It’s usually said after the event by someone who’s attempting to ease his/her conscience which I find pretty disgusting. It’s pathetic & I told him so.. I told him what I thought, he shrugged & said he was just asking. The complexities of dreams. If the lesson is to keep my distance from men whom I dump on I got it. I’m going to distance myself from said man & practice silence which isn’t my usual thing. It may have been just a dream but I was so disappointed in him.
I’ve been shocked to the core of me listening to stories of flings & affairs. People get bruised & that’s shit. I know me & a fling would just be tacky. It would come down to a respect thing & can you respect someone who only want bits of you when it suits them? I couldn’t. Omg, I’ve arrived with high standards, who knew A fizzling affair isn’t really any different to a failing relationship though is it. I would just hope to aim higher. Maybe the point of my dream was to remind myself I do have high standards. I’m not really your settle for type.