Technicolour Dream

Sometimes my dreams are so vivid it puts me off sleeping.  Last night I had a dream about a guy I know.  I chew his ear off about Nicky sometimes.  You know when you have a sympathetic ear & you bash it, it’s that kind of thing.  He listens, I dump.   It’s no more, no less.  I know he worries about me & perhaps I should remember that.  In my dream he comes into my work.  We always move away from people so we go sit on a sofa which is not unusual.  He asks if I’ve ever thought about having a fling.  I explain that I’m not ‘fling’ material & he asks why.   I actually felt offended.  He thought I’d be flattered haha.  He so misjudged me.   Actually I think calling something a fling is disrespectful & hurtful.  It’s usually said after the event by someone who’s attempting to ease his/her conscience which I find pretty disgusting.   It’s pathetic & I told him so..  I told him what I thought,  he shrugged & said he was just asking.  The complexities of dreams.  If the lesson is to keep my distance from men whom I dump on I got it.  I’m going to distance myself from said man & practice silence which isn’t my usual thing.  It may have been just a dream but I was so disappointed in him.

I’ve been shocked to the core of me listening to stories of flings & affairs.  People get bruised & that’s shit.   I know me & a fling would just be tacky.  It would come down to a respect thing & can you respect someone who only want bits of you when it suits them?  I couldn’t.   Omg, I’ve arrived with high standards, who knew  A fizzling affair isn’t really any different to a failing relationship though is it.  I would just hope to aim higher.  Maybe the point of my dream was to remind myself I do have high standards.  I’m not really your settle for type.

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