Explosive day

Happy Birthday to my eldest daughter Jennifer.  A 20yr old, I haven’t had one of those in a while.  She came home this morning at 5.25am with her 18yr old sister.  Both were seriously drunk.  I just sighed at how freaking loud they were.  A few hours later & my day started.  Youngest wasn’t in the best of moods.  I’d left my phone on my coffee table, he lifted it up & threw it.  In a nano second he’d went from annoyed to seething.  My phone sat on the floor in bits.  Sometimes, sometimes I want to scream at him to fuck off but I don’t.  He smirks at me waiting for a response.  This morning he got one.  He was told he’s the child & I’m the parent.  He can think what he wants but he can’t do what he wants when he wants.  I left the room with my words echoing in his ears.  I did raise my voice.   In that moment I didn’t care that he doesn’t like being shouted at.    Okay, honestly he can & does do whatever he wants.  I have no magic key in my armory of parenting knowledge.  If a key exists I don’t have it.  What I do have is a crappy phone that’s smashed to pieces whilst he’s got an iphone 6 & no I can’t take it.  I’m not that brave.  I’ve no idea why he’s stressed today but I’m teetering on the brink of exploding myself.   I can live without a mobile.  It will be heaven not waiting for my phone to ring when I’m standing in work.  I’ve lost oodles of photos but I can live without them.  I am seriously tired of the drama he creates.  I’d happily live without a mobile forever but I know I’ll have to replace it.

It should have been a happy day.  For me its been a day full of youngest trying my patience & people who don’t live with him trying to tell me what I do wrong!!!  If parenting him was so easy do they think I wouldn’t do it?  Fkn world is full of clueless know it all’s.  Thankfully they’ve left.

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