Finally

I wonder why in my dreams I don’t tell people to just fuck off.  I seen many people from my past last night.  O they soothed about how happy life is.  Is it really I asked with little interest.  It’s quite strange seeing your own past sitting in front of you.  I was too polite to say I don’t give a flying fuck to some of them.   I can’t get passed my curiosity of why tell me how happy you all are.  As I sat looking at them I started to pick them off one by one.  She was self absorbed.  He was boring, she was selfish, he was demanding.  The list went on until I wanted them all out of my space.

I figured that the sensible thing to do was get them all drunk.  As I topped up the drinks only one was smart enough to realise I wasn’t drinking.   Staying sober was my way of keeping control.  You find out a lot from drunks.  I sat gobsmacked as the truth came out.  Omg, such hostility, all for me haha.  I never buy into hostility.  I’m amused when people go to hostility.  It’s a clear indication they have a problem, usually guilt.   These people though had all brought something to my life.  I’m not quite sure what but they must have.  I should maybe have thanked them but why would I.

Being happy is a very personal thing.  It has nothing to do with anyone else.  No one makes any one else happy so I’m confused.  I don’t care if people I used to know are happy.  Should I though because the nice in me wouldn’t want anyone to be unhappy.  Maybe that was the point of the dream.  For all my stuff & bluster I wouldn’t do any of them any harm.  Parting note to my past.  If your happy, good for you.  You don’t need to inform me because I won’t be flying the bunting for you.  Just jog on doing what your doing.

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